Oh Sweet God, I'm a Mary Sue
by xLintux
Summary: As Caisha makes a rather dramatic impact on the world of Middle Earth, several things bother her. One, shes feeling vaguely Mary Sueish. Two, she has blue hair. And Three? Elrohir stole her mascara...
1. Of Blue hair and Mascara

**Disclaimer-**Unfortunately, I don't own any LotR characters... Trust me, if I did, I wouldn't be spending my time writing Fanfic's I'd be sunning myself somewhere with a nice few elvsies and men on my arm x3

**Notes-**This is my first Fanfic . Its a typical girl-falls-into-Middle-Earth type thingie o-0 She's most probably a Mary-Sue; like I said, I'm new to this x3 Be nice... And I'll give you all cookies...? -waves cookies around-

**Prologue - Of Blue Hair and Mascara**

_She had had plans; as she looked back now in reflection, that was the funniest thing about it. She had had **plans** . Ideas, not just for that day, but for her future. She was going to finish college, then take a degree in Art and English and see how things went from there. She wanted to own her own stables, one day, and to have a normal, peaceful family. She wanted to live to a ripe old age whilst caring for her horses, and watch her children have their own children, and die peacefully in her sleep when she wanted to. And that day? Well, she was planning on meeting Alice and Terri in town a bit later, maybe meet Antonia and Sam in Subway, then go see a movie. And later she'd go catch up with Joe; he really was quite sweet, despite what her friends said about him. After all, she had sat him down and made him watch Titanic from beginning to end, and he hadn't complained- he had only objected with Kate Winslet's nude scene was over, which had caused Caisha to roll her eyes and drool over Leonardo DiCaprio, despite the fact she despised him, until he shut up about her... Yes, she was planning on maybe going to watch him play football, then go back to his to torture his little brother for a while. Yep, she had had it all planned out.  
What she -hadnt- planned on was the sensation of being squashed into a hole five sizes too small for her body, and the inability to breathe, see or hear anything. She felt like she was drowning in a rabbit hole, which was surprisingly close to the truth. She hadnt planned on suddenly finding herself feeling inconspicuously out of place whilst a group of very serious looking horseman poked her with spears, talking to her in a language she couldn't understand. She also hadn't planned on the vague suspicion that she was in a very elaborate 'Lord of the Ring's set-up her sister had derived. Oh no, she hadnt planned on it at all . And she most definately hadnt planned on having blue hair.  
So how did Caisha get here, at the start of her new adventure? Well, let me tell you... _

Lets go back to England... It was a stereotype in itself; wet and windy weather that was so unpredictable it could be raining one minute and boiling the next. It was a nightmare; not to mention it ruined the day's plans, resulting in hardly anyone doing anything. At least it was the summer, where the sun was more likely to make an apperance than not, and the rain was light and lasted for a few moments. Oh yes, and of course, there was no school.  
See, in the United Kingdom, people didn't have it so easy as American high schools; they had to wear uniforms at highschool, as opposed to their own clothes, which were only allowed to be worn in College and University, something which near enough every person held a grudge about, but at least over here the school system was all a lot more simple. Well, that is, they did Years, instead of Grades, and College came after Highschool, which came after Primary School, and the whole thing came before University. Yeah, because that's simple.  
Speaking of College, however, a sixteen year old College student was on the war path. Having woken this morning with bright, vivid blue hair and not-so-nice words written across her face, Caisha Sullivan knew that only two people were to blame; the Twin Demons of Hell, otherwise known as her younger brothers Ryan and Coal. Permanent marker proved not so permanent after a hefty scrub in the bathroom with Caisha's vengeance, but her hair refused to return to its normal brunette colouring even after several thorough washes, something that she was, understandably, pissed off about. That would be why she was currently cornering the twins in the living room, clutching the empty bottle of hair dye she'd found at the bottle of her bed and screaming blue murder about the whole thing; heheh...blue.  
"...stupid, incompetent, ignorant little brats!" she was yelling, looking positively terrifying; an angry teenager with blue hair is enough to make anybody pause. Coal was timidly trying to get a word in, whilst Ryan was edging slowly away from Caisha's wildly indicating arms; that was, until he was suddenly picked up and held about a foot from the floor- hell, andrenaline is an amazing thing.  
"And where do you think you're going? You're going to sort this out!"  
Ryan struggled helplessly in the iron-like grip, petrified of the raving banshee his elder sister had become,  
"But, Cay..." he squeaked out, "Look at it this way; at least it matches your eyes!" he attempted, trying to placate the girl.  
It failed. Miserably. The statement was correct; Caisha's eyes were indeed a bright blue, but it would take more than that to calm her now. She let the boy drop to the floor, where he quickly scrambled under the coffee table, quivering, leaving poor Coal to face their sisters anger. Coal was pressed into the wall, eyes trying to find a way out that wouldnt involve him getting decapitated with an empty bottle of hair dye,  
"It was Ryans idea!"  
He suddenly found himself in the same position his twin had been, suspended over the floor by Caisha's arms; subconsciously, he was surprised she had any strength at all. She'd never shown a hint of it before. His sisters face was inches from his own, and she was hissing vehmently,  
"I dont give a damn whose fault it is. How do I reverse it?"  
Coal muttered something, until Caisha shook him; then he repeated it,  
"You can't."  
The girl looked flabbergasted what a word xD and turned the bottle over; the small word 'permanent' mocked her eyes, and in the rage that followed even her dog ran for cover. She didn't yell this time; instead, her grip tightened on Coals top and caused him to wince as she spoke, very slowly and carefully.  
"You're going to pay for this."  
She dropped him to the floor, and stalked off, screaming out 'Mum!' as though her parent would be able to solve the whole situation for her.

------

Her mother hadn't been able to help, however, and Caisha was left looking forlornly in the mirror at her once-lovely hair. They'd tried to dye it back to her brown again, but the result was a load of empty dye bottles and hair that had turned a dark blue; a navy, or midnight colour. At least in some lights, it would pass for black, which she supposed was good news, though she'd rather just not have blue hair, if it was all the same to you. She actually felt like crying, something she never did; hell, this was her i hair /i . She'd tied it up wet into a high ponytail, glaring at the reflection; she looked the same as she always did... except that she had dark blue hair. A sharp face with high cheekbones, sharp, almost cold eyes and a small, neat nose. Her lips, normally averagely sized, had pressed themselves into an unamused, thin line, much like English teachers use when you've got a D- on your report and you're asking for extra time on your coursework, and remained so as she stalked out of the bathroom to get dressed, only dimly aware she'd been running around in her pyjamas for half the morning.  
As she was tugging on a favourite pair of faded jeans, complete with sewn-on patches sporting a few band names, she spotted her sister Illyra literally dancing past her room, singing away to something on her iPod. Throwing a pillow at the girl, Illyra spun around in shock and frowned, tugging her earphones out, Br  
"What the fuck have you done to your hair?"  
Caisha raised an eyebrow sceptically,  
"I wanted a change," she muttered sarcastically, and ducked as the pillow came sailing past her ear in response. It took a while, but Caisha finally recognised the music lilting from her sisters iPod, -hell, Illyra played the damn movies all day long- and she gaped, "Please, dear god, tell me you're _not _listening to the Lord of the Rings soundtrack."  
Illyra muttered something guiltily and stared at the ground as Caisha just sniggered.  
"You know, Ra, I swear you're that Doddo Buggins in disguise. You're about tall enough." Which was true; Caisha was about five foot eight, wheras her sister was five foot one.  
Illyra was forced to reply indignantly at this, for the sake of all LotR fans everywhere, currently shouting at their PC screens, and her own pride, Br  
"Uhm, I think you mean Frodo Baggins. And that was---"  
Caisha rolled her eyes disinterestedly, cutting her off "Yeah, her. But, seriously. Its embarrasing to have a fourteen year old sister obsessed with i fictional characters /i . And yes, I caught you snogging your Orlando Bloom poster the other night. Y'know, that one with him as the Lego-man or whatever." br  
"Legolas." muttered her sister again, flushing a bright, embarrased red and staring hard at the ground, the LotR movie soundtrack playing away in the background, coming through scratchilly from the earphones.  
Caisha pulled on a black t-shirt supporting the common yellow x-eyed face and word 'Nirvana' sprawled across it and carried on sniggering, even in her blissed ignorance, "Thats right, the elfy one. Pointy ears, etc. Look, they're good films-" she paused in recollection of the actors; hell, who cared about the story with Orlando Bloom, Viggo Mortensen and Sean Bean running around? "-But thats all they are." she continued, "Films. They're fictional. You're not supposed to stay up half the night fantasising about Aragorn. _And_ I took a look at your computer history. _Fanfiction_..." she snickered again in amusement, "Lego-man and that Gilly dwarfy person slash? I mean, c'mon sis... Thats just sick."  
Illyra turned a rather impressive colour that would have put beetroots to shame, but that didnt stop her, "Its a book as well... And its Gimli..." She looked up in time to see her sister say something else, and sped off before she could be embarrased or insulted more.  
Caisha watched her go, and pouted, upset that her fun for the day had abandoned her. "Gilly, Gimli. Same thing." she smirked; honestly, who could get -that- obsessed about a couple of characters written by a guy whos been dead for several years? -Somewhere far away, Tolkien rolled over in his grave- I mean, c'mon! They weren't even real... Illyra really should invest in some real friends, rather than people out of a stupid film... or book...  
Perhaps, in retrospect, she should have been paying closer attention to the world around her. She pulled on her black boots, but it was only as she was applying the usual layer of mascara to her eyelashes that she became aware of how cold her room had quickly gotten. Glancing up from the mirror, she noticed that the windows were shut, and nothing in her room gave any indication of moving in a chill breeze. Maybe it was because the door was open... Moving towards the wooden frame, she was shocked as it actually moved away from her. She took another step nearer to it, and, without actually moving, it took a step back from her. That was strange... And since when did she feel sick? The nausea was overwhelming, and her insides squirmed in objection, causing her to lurch towards the bathroom door this time, only for it to perform the same trick her bedroom door had... Oookay. She forced herself to stop, which wasnt that hard considering her legs suddenly felt extremely leaden and difficult to move... She tried to call out to someone, fearing she was coming down with something very deadly, very fast... And-- hey, where'd her reflection go? She tried to wave her hand, still clutching the mascara, infront of the empty mirror that stared back at her, but the attempt to do so overbalanced her and she fell heavily onto the ground, muttering near enough every swear word she could think of... She felt as though she was being strangled, to an extent where a blackness enveloped her and she knew no more...

------

That had been then. This was now.  
She'd woken up feeling as though she had the biggest hang over in the world, and stated so as she stared at the floor, pressed close to her face. It was grass... But she didn't have grass in her room- did she? She couldn't remember... But no, that twig, which had just snapped under the horses hoof that appeared in the corner of her eye, definately wasnt one of hers... And she didn't let horses in her room, did she? No, she couldnt. It wasnt hygenic. Br  
She managed to push herself up, with the intention of telling the horse that it was impolite for it to be in her room without knocking, when she realised she most definately did not live in this place... It was green, and it had trees in it. Trees were bad, and they did not grow in her room; plus, they went out of their way to hurt people, though looked inconspicuous. As you can imagine, she'd fallen out of several trees when little, and they'd done nothing to stop it happening... Only, her view of the afformentioned plants was blocked by a group of five or six horsemen; all of which had a spear pointed at her rather hostiley. Br  
"You know," she said, after a long silence in which they just stared at her, "Its rude to point." she finished lamely, wondering what else she could say to a handful of people who looked like the followers of the Horsemen of the Apocolypse. And their horses didn't look much friendlier; one of them nipped at her t-shirt, and she just blinked at it, before petting the velvet muzzle, yanking her hand back just in time to avoid loosing a few fingers, "Oooh, tetchy." she muttered...  
She realised the men were talking amongst themselves, in what she presumed to be a foreign language. After all, how could Caisha, who presumed that the Lord of the Rings was reserved for addicts and those suffering mental rehabilitation, oh, and her younger sister, understand Elvish? Well, the answer was, she couldnt, and it was for this very reason that she just looked at one of the men blankly as he began speaking to her... She paused, wondering what country she was in, and why. They sounded French, or Spanish,  
"Uhm... I from England?" she waved her hands dramatically, "You speak English?"  
One of the figures, seated upon a fantastic looking iron grey horse, which Caisha presumed to have Percheron or Shire blood, he was that big, addressed her carefully. He had dark hair framing his face and grey eyes set in his fair features, which looked at her so poised and calmly she felt uncomfortable, "You speak Westron, lady?"  
If Caisha had been paying closer attention, she would have noticed the male's pointed ears sticking from his dark hair; as it was, she did not, and just shrugged, "Westron? Yeah, fine, whatever, if thats what you call it here..." she looked around her warily, "Uhm, where is here?"  
"You are in the realm of Elrond, lady. In Rivendell..." came the calm answer; she was vaguely aware of how softly the male spoke, yet his words were not lost to the wind that whipped about her head, teasing bits of blue hair loose from her ponytail...  
Caisha rolled her eyes, "Funny... Fine. Illyra, very good. You can come out now. The jokes over... Rivendell indeed..." she snickered, then paused, and moved to the elf's side, picking up a corner of his tunic thoughtfully, examining it, "I must say your attention to detail has been excellent... But- ack---" she was cut off suddenly by five spears being pointed at her throat by very angry looking horse riders... She noticed the only one who did not threaten her was the male whose tunic she'd pulled, but her attentions were currently focused on another one of the riders, seated on a fine bay mare, who was speaking, Br  
"You dare to speak to Lord Elrohir thus?"  
Caisha, in her shock, lifted up her hand, which she noticed still held her mascara brush. With a surge of foolish heroism, she waved it around at the pointy-spear-holders, though it didnt do her much good, "My sister really went all out, then? Fine, I'll play along." she paused, and then exclaimed in all her exuberance, "Bring it on! I'll mascara you to death!" whilst flecking them with dots of black mascara as she waved the brush around.  
The one called Elrohir was watching with an expression of mild amusement, which quickly evaporated as Caisha was nearly stabbed by one of the over-zealous horsemen... He lifted up his hand, and said something in that freaky foreign language again, which caused Caisha to stare at him and the other riders to cautiously lower their spears. Still brandishing her mascara brush, she turned round to him, and gave him a breif smile, which was not returned, by any of them. She was about to say her thanks at saving her from being skewered on a pointy stick when he cut across her, shaking his head,  
"Tell me, Lady--" she interupted him here "-Caisha."  
He smiled wryly, "Very well... Tell me, lady Caisha-" she gave an exasperated roll of her eyes, "-how did you appear out of nowhere and why are you wearing..." his eyes slid over her clothing, "...that." he finished  
She glanced down at her jeans and tee shirt, then up at his own clothes, which consisted of a dark tunic beneath glittering silver armour, and shrugged; christ, this must have cost Illyra a fortune. "What, dont you like Nirvana?"  
Elrohir's look turned to one of confusion, "What is... Nirvana, pray tell?" he rolled the word on his tongue with genuine curiosity.  
Caisha sighed; okay, so they may be scary horsemen, but they were scary _ignorant_ horsemen, "Nirvana. You know. Kurt Cobain, shot himself in the head."  
One of the other men, riding a black, frisky colt, who was prancing in his place with eagerness, spoke up "He shot himself? How is that possible? Would he not have had to get someone else to pull the bow?"  
Caisha stared at him as though he was indeed crazy, "What? A bow? No, he used a gun, fool."  
The rider of the black horse was about to say something else, until Elrohir cut in again, "Peace, Ysan." Ysan shut his mouth sulkily, and glared at Caisha, a look she returned whole-heartedly, until Elrohir called to her again,  
"Lady Caisha, it seems you have much to tell us... But, still, how did you appear out of nowhere?"  
Caisha blinked, "I did? Oh... I dunno. I was in my room, and I think I fainted..." she paused, "Hey, this isnt funny anymore. Wheres Illyra?"  
Elrohir looked confused again, "Who is Illyra?"  
"My little sister. She's like, addicted to Lord of the Rings... You can all go home now, the games over... But my sister has got a lot of explaining to do. Kidnapping me and leaving me with a bunch of strange men..." she eyed them suspiciously.  
Elrohir shot his companions a sharp look, then looked back to Caisha, "I can assure you there is no other around here; our scouts would have noticed. I know not of this Illyra... But who is this Lord of the Rings?" he asked, clearly thinking he sounded nonchalantly. She gave him a sceptical glance, "You know, Sauron, the One Ring, Frodo, the whole 'oh my God we're all going to die because a big flaming eye lost its jewellery' thing... Aragorn, Legolas... Hell, havent you seen the film?" Yes, despite what she said to Illyra to wind her up, she knew the story and the characters names. It was hard not to when her sister watched them every day on full volume, so that Caisha could probably recall each line in her sleep... she then remembered what her sister said, "Or read the book?"  
Elrohir looked shocked; "What do you know of Frodo and the Ring? And of Aragorn, or Prince Legolas, for that matter?"  
Caisha sighed irritably; she was not in the mood to play this game anymore, "Oh, dont be stupid. I want to go home. Which way is it?" She began looking around as though trying to spy a stage crew or something. When she did so, however, she didnt notice the significant glance Ysan gave Elrohir, nor the slight nod Elrond's son gave in return; all she knew was that the mascara brush was suddenly knocked from her hand with the butt of a spear, which then drove itself into the back of her head, so that she fell unconscious with a soft "Ow..."

**To be continued** -plays dramatic music-

Did you all like? You know you want to R&R Pretty please? No flamers, please o-0 thats just mean. Im sorry if its bad, or not that funny. It's my first one, but I tried D I promise the next chapters will be better 3 And will be extra better if someone reviews xD... That really made no sense.


	2. Of Denial, Tables and Mars Bars

**Disclaimer-**Why torture me so? No, I dont own any LotR characters... All I own is Caisha, her family, Ysan, a few more characters and a rather smelly pair of socks. Come to think of it, I dont own them either. They sort of belong to themselves, considering they have their own DNA patterns 

**Notes-**o-0 It'll be funnier... To me, at least. Hopefully. I have a warped sense of humour. Most might not find it funny... Its an unoriginal idea, really, with only one difference; Caisha really doesent like anything LotR related. It reminds her of her sister too much. There will be romance, but not for a while 3 I have to set the scene. Caisha has severe senses of denial, right now.

**Pronunciation of my characters-  
Caisha- **Cay-sha  
**Ysan- **Ee-san  
**Dyanai- **Di-yan-ey

**To my beloved reviewers- **I GOT REVIEWS! -coughs- sorry, I get overly excited. -gives reviewers cookies-**  
GothicShadow- **here you go Hope I didnt make you wait too long  
**ChronicCheddar- **-is glomped- 3 Yesh, I love horses. I used to have one, but had to sell him when I outgrew him ;-;. And I just love the whole girl-falls-into-ME thing I know its not very original, but its entertaining, nevertheless. And Caisha loved her hair as it was xD She doesent think blue's her colour... It was going to be lime green originally, but the idea scared me too much xD I might make her have lime green a bit later o-0 Lots of things will happen to Caisha's hair 3

**Chapter One- Of Denial, Tables and Mars Bars**

_Caisha's dream was a strange one... She was sat cross-legged on the bed in her bedroom, watching a number of orcs do the Maccarina (I have no idea how to spell that dance). She had a bag of popcorn, which, as she reached into to get more, turned out to contain Kurt Cobains head; shot through with an arrow. Strange... She didn't want to eat Kurt Cobain's head, as much as she liked his music... When she next looked up from Kurt Cobains face, she was sat in the school annex, and the orcs had vanished; she was vaguely aware of being in her pyjamas, and her hair had returned to the bright bubblegum blue stage it had been when she woke up, the other day. There was a vending machine infront of her full of mascara brushes, and she was holding a fifty pence piece. Because this was a dream, and you had to go along with them, she put in the fifty pence peice, and got a mascara brush in return. When she picked it up, however, it morphed into a Mars Bar, and the next thing she knew she was running down a hill, being chased by a group of angry looking chocolate bars, all screaming at her for kidnapping their Queen Mars Bar. As she turned the corner into a conveniently nearby forest, she found herself being dragged from the ground and thrown over the back of an iron grey horse, which was extremely big and turned to grin manically at her, ridden by a massive King Size Twix, with a gold crown about the top end of his packaging... The twix had her wrapped in caramel, and no matter how much she struggled, she couldnt get free; and all the while, the Twix was asking her to "Join them..." whoever 'they' were... In the distance, between the trees, she saw Illyra, waving at her, and pointing to the book of the Lord of the Rings she had clutched to her at the same time, smiling evilly... Caisha actually screamed, realising why the King Size Twix was taking her right to her younger sister and the book; oh god no! Anything but having to listen to her sister read out quotes that were irrelevant and incoherent! Please, God, NO! She threw herself, caramel and all, off the horses back, still screaming in terror..._

She woke with a start, struggling on the floor and wrapped tightly in a thin blanket, listening to her screams dying away with their echoes. Okaaaaay. Not that that dream was strange, or anything... It took her a while to calm down and get back in touch with reality, her eyes flittering around each shadow that crowded her; where was she? This wasnt her room, though she noted it was more comfortable than the grass she'd originally been expecting... It was still dark in the world, by what she could see, but a few shafts of moonlight had found their way in through the paneless windows. Paneless windows! Her mind did a doubletack. What use was a window without a pane of glass? Without glass it was just a... hole. In a wall. Shaped like an arch. Letting in the breeze.  
Her eyes examined where she was, absolutely confident that she'd never seen this place before and, judging by the state of things, she didnt want to see it again. She immediately noticed that there was no door. Just another bloody archway. Honestly, some people had no respect for a teenagers privacy... Her eyes carried on searching; the windows she'd already seen, and, from her vantage point on the cold marble floor, she could see they looked out onto a neat courtyard, bathed in moonlight and populated with several plants Caisha knew she'd never be able to pronounce the name of, no matter how hard she tried. What she presumed to be a wardrobe stood opposite her, a large, pale, curved wood contraption, ending in four clawed feet, next to a dressing table with an oval-shaped mirror, framed in wreathed silver. There was a bed next to her, and she wondered briefly why she wasnt in it, then answered her own question as she tried to move, wincing at the ache in her back. She'd fallen out of bed again, then. It must have been acting as the horse in her dream, she concluded grimly, pushing herself into a sitting position, so she could see over the other side of the bed.  
She gave a small shriek of surprise at what she saw, and fell back down to the floor again, hitting her head rather hard on the marble. Swearing un-ladylike curses, she managed to prop herself up once more, this time cautiously looking over the mattress, into the darkness beyond. No, she hadnt been mistaken. There was someone sat there, opposite, just watching her. It gave her the heebie-jeebies, considering how calm the person appeared. Whoever it was, she noted, stayed silent and emotionless in the shadows as she pulled herself up completely, gripping the corner of the four-poster bed for support as she did so. She felt fuggy, with the back of her head banging like there was no tomorrow and her mouth reminding her that no toothpaste had passed through it in two days. It was only when she was fully awake and upright that the shadowed person spoke, and his voice was as calm and still as that rider who she'd been speaking to yesterday... What was his name again... Eldorado? Elrohado? Elrohin? Elromir? Elro... Elmo... El... Damnit, she couldnt think straight, and she was having a hard time concentrating as the person spoke, though eventually she latched onto the topic,  
"... to Rivendell, Lady Caisha."  
Oh, yeah, said a voice in the back of her head. Rivendell. Was Illyra still keeping this up? Oh God, how pathetic... She'd be having words with her sister... when she found her, that is, and when she didn't feel like her head was about to split. When she gave no response, the person continued,  
"I am Lord Elrond---" -Elrond? Big freaky elf, looks like a smacked arse, doesent want his daughter to marry Aragorn? Illyra was really laying this on thick- "---Can you hear me?"  
She broke from her thoughts, still blinking owlishly at him in the darkness, "What? Oh, right, yeah. Look, I dont know how much Illyra paid you, buddy, but I'd really like to go home now. Not that being kidnapped by a bunch of crazy horseman doesent do it for me, but I've got things to be doing."  
The Lord Elrond, she noticed, looked exactly as the films depicted him; weird. Illyra must have got them all plastic surgery of something. A small voice in the back of her head said; with what? She's so stingy she gave you an IOU for 20p for your sixteenth birthday! No doubt she thought it was funny... Like she'd be able to afford plastic surgery for herself, let alone an entire cast of characters... She ignored the voice, whilst her other thoughts of denial beat it up and sat it in a dark, unused corner of her mind, sulking to itself.  
Elrond just watched her battle with her own thoughts for a while, smiling that unearthly, smug smile of elf lords everywhere- the one that said 'Ahahah! Im an immortal and you arent fit to lick the hair on my big toe!' before speaking again; "I can assure you, I know not of who this 'Illyra' is, but I have been paid by no-one. Elrohir---" -Ah! That was the name! Hey, wait a minute... Didnt he hit her on the head? Or was that the other one, Eesan or something? No matter. She'd just yell at them both- "---told me of your sudden appearance and your rather unusual... comments." he put the word delicately; she wondered if he was referring to her Kurt Cobain comments... Or maybe the mention of Frodo and the Ring; that horse man had got really iffy then. As her mind strayed to Kurt Cobain, her thoughts returned to her dream, and she muttered something along the lines of 'effin Mars Bars' before tuning into hear Elrond speaking again; "--dont know how you got here, but we can assure you we will do all we can to find out. In the meantime, you are free to roam the grounds of Rivendell, but I would reccomend you dont stray from our boarders, lest you fall foul of the creatures that linger out there..."  
Okay, who the hell spoke like that? These guys were -really- good actors. "Right, fine, whatever. Just wait till I speak to your manager..." she muttered the last bit under her breath, but was convinced the elf heard her with those freakily pointed ears, because he smiled that smug little holier-than-thou smile again, before speaking;  
"I will leave you now. You have been asleep for two days, so I trust you are fully rested?" without waiting for her shocked answer, he continued, "Good. I believe my daughter has provided you with some gowns; you will find them in your wardrobe. I suggest you wear them-" his eyes lingered on her jeans and Nirvana tee shirt, "-if only for correct first impressions. I think fashion from the Eastern Lands has yet to reach us here in Rivendell." was that a smirk on his lips? "Oh, and there was this. Elrohir said you were using it as... a weapon." he picked up her mascara brush from its place on the small bedside table, proferring it to her across the bed.  
The reaction that it wrought on Caisha was amazing; she let out a strangled scream that sounded like 'Mars Bars!' and dove under the safety of her bed, shivering in her terror. Elrond was no doubt amused by the whole thing; she couldnt see. She muttered angrily from then on, incoherently to herself; stupid Elrond and stupid mascara. And why hadnt he stopped her from falling off the bed, or cared when she was screaming? She was about to voice her angry questions when she heard him say, speaking like he was trying hard not to laugh; "I trust I will see you soon, Lady Caisha..."  
And he was gone, moving silently across the floor before she could reply. She watched him go from under the bed, warily, astonished; what the hell was going on? This was an elaborate set up... wasnt it? It better had be. It was impossible for that to have been the real Elrond. Wasnt it?  
Suddenly, she wasnt too sure...

------

If only she had a knife... Or, better yet, if only she had anything with a nice, sharp, pointy end that would show the person she was pointing it at exactly what she thought of them. Because, you see, if she did have an object like that, any one of these female 'actors' (yes, Caisha denial was vigorous and powerful) who next looked at her strangely would be meeting their death on the end of it. With her holding on to the other end and grinning manically in their face, swearing about Mars Bars and Lord of the Rings Quotes. It looked like Caisha was taking the switch from England to Middle Earth badly. Very badly.  
As it was, she'd been getting some very strange looks; hence her desire to kick some serious elf booty. She wondered what everyone was doing up anyway; it had been just past dawn when she'd finally stepped out of her room, selfconsciously eyeing her clothes; she had taken Elrond's advice, but only to a certain deegree. She'd point blank refused to wear one of the floor-length, sweeping, flowy gowns that she felt belonged to a fashion museum rather than on a girls body, thinking that yes, they might look good on elves in films, but not on a sixteen year old girl who liked her self dignity to remain in tact, and settled instead on a black tunic she'd found rolled up in the corner of a drawer in her dressing table, dusty and neglected; she couldnt find any trousers for it, but it hung low enough down her legs to pass for a dress anyway, albeit a short one, so she just wore her flat black boots with it, and tied it round with the white belt she'd been using to hold up her jeans previously. Maybe that was why she was getting strange looks... Well that appearance, added to her blue hair, gave her the look of a confused prositute from the 60's; a look she was coming to hate. She didn't think she looked that bad, really, when she'd looked at herself in the oval mirror (glad that her reflection had returned to her) but as she walked along the catacombs of the Rivendell complex, completely and thoroughly lost, she noticed the disapproving glances she was getting from the elves that were out and about alongside her. What the hell was up with them? And it wasnt just the girls... Some of the males stared after her in shock; no doubt they weren't used to seeing any flesh beyond that of necks and shoulders of their women, and were disapproving of such... flaunting. Like she gave a toss. Seriously. She was here, and she was going to damn well act like herself, despite what people said. And when she got a hold of Illyra... Her fingers flexed, as though invisioning themselves about her younger sisters neck.  
There was one good point, however; compared to the group of porcelain angels that the female elves were, she was positively golden in complexion. She loved the small feeling of superiority she held over them with this, considering she was plain and dull in every other aspect, against their status; it made her look like she'd spent a few years in Spain or Turkey, or somewhere equally hot and sunny. She relished in it, considering back home she was just averagely-skinned. Other than that, though, the comparisons ended. Everyone of them, besides the children, was taller than her, despite her own average height, and her hair was in no danger of rivalling their own- whether it was straight, wavy or curled, the elves, even the males, surpassed her. Their hair was glossier than hers, neater, shinier. Healthier. She wondered what conditoner these people used; maybe she could borrow it. Especially because hers was dank and lifeless besides them... Not to mention it was blue. Like, really blue.  
"Damn those Twin Demons of Hell!" she yelled suddenly, stopping on her meander, "Damn them to... uh, Hell? No, they'd just feel at home there... Damn them to Heaven? Yes, that was good. Damn them to Heaven! Mwuhahahaha!" and off she went again, laughing like an insane person on an insane day, at an insane convention.  
Of course, this earned her more strange looks, to such an extent that she was forced to eventually shut up, if only to save the sanity of those she passed, who gave her those confused, aloof looks. She felt that maybe she could gouge their eyes out with her mascara brush, which she'd tucked into her white belt, having overcome the initial fear she'd felt when Elrond had brandished it at her. It was her only connection with reality right now, and she wasnt about to give it up for anyone, even if everytime she looked at it, it gave her the urge to devour any chocolate bar she came into contact with...  
As she was wrapped up in her thoughts, she failed to notice the fact she'd walked into a large room filled with row upon row of book shelves, windowless, lit only by a roaring fire which danced in a grate in the far end wall, casting firey shadows all over the tables, set up for study or reading... It was weird; outside, the corridors were illuminated by the dawn sunlight, bright and irritatingly chirpy in their white marble manner, but in here it was like night had fallen again... It was only as she felt her leg collide with the edge of a table, the wood rim digging into her limb and scratching the surface of her leg that she surfaced from her memories, stumbling slightly in shock, and staring down at the scratch on her skin.  
"Damnit..." she muttered to herself, wiping the small trail of blood that had broken through the graze away, glaring at the table and kicking it in retaliation... It stayed stubbornly wooden and uncaring, and to add to the effect, it maliciously hurt her toe. "Figures. Any form of wood hates me." she recalled her previous introductions with trees, and glowered.  
So wrapped up in her self-pity was she, nursing the cut on her leg which didnt actually hurt, that she also failed to notice the familiar dark-haired, grey-eyed figure of Elrohir watched her from the shadows that the fire's light didnt quite reach, and amused smile on his face.  
"Tell me, my lady Caisha-" -her head snapped up so quickly at the familiar calm voice that she cricked her neck and let out a muffled swear word, massaging the back of her neck as she turned her glowering onto him instead of the table- "-do you oft speak to inanimate objects? Or does the table somehow talk to you in return?" Now he moved out of the shadows, she could tell his grey eyes were dancing with a light that didnt come from the fire; amusement, she realised. Hes laughing at me. But hes doing it _silently. _Is that **allowed**?  
Oh, peachy. Hes got a sense of humour, poor as it was. This is going to be a long day... "Well, it has just attacked me, so it doesent need to speak for me to decide it hates me." she muttered, continuing glowering at him, as he sat himself down on the edge of the afformentioned table. He was wearing a tunic that came up to his chin in a stiff collar and ended at his waist, tied about by a leather belt which held a rather impressive looking sword. Caisha stared at it for a moment; if she so much as risked trying to pick up something like that, she'd probably chop off her own foot or something as equally ridiculous. He was still looking at her with the calm manner of elves everywhere, and it made her uncomfortable, considering he still had that amused look flitting in his eye... Right now, she was still wondering if she'd be able to find that nice, sharp, pointy-ended object anywhere around here... Suddenly, she remembered something;  
"HEY! Its Eldorado, right? You knocked me out!" she opened her mouth in horrified shock, eyes opening wide; how _dare _he... And then to sit there! All smug and---  
"Elrohir. And actually, my lady Caisha-" he said in that gentle manner, interrupting her train of thought. She muttered "Just Caisha" irritably at him, to his continued amusement, "-It was Ysan who did so."  
Oh yes. Ysan... Eesan. Him. "The one on the frisky black colt?"  
Hah! Take that, calm elf appearances! She smirked at the tiny flicker of shock that flashed over his face, before he smoothed out his look again; clearly he didnt expect her to have been so observant, but he didnt say anything about it if he did. Hah. The only reason she'd actually noticed was because of her adoration of horses... Elrohir just watched her for a moment, his booted feet resting casually on one of the chairs, "Aye, him. I can assure you he expressed his sincerest apologies for doing so."  
Caisha scoffed at this, returning her eyes to the graze on her leg; it didnt hurt at all, but she wasnt about to let that stop her. Yes, she was a drama queen when it came to injuries...  
She wasnt going to last much longer in Middle Earth at this rate.  
"'His sincerest apologies'?" she echoed, "The bastard hit me with a big wooden stick! I was unconscious for two days!" she was working herself up, she knew, but she felt she had every right to, with him sitting their, so calm, so poised. So mature. It just made her glower all the more.  
He was silent for a while, before; "I dont believe Ysan is a bastard... I happen to have met his father Dyanai several times in past..." he mused.  
Oh, that was right. They didnt understand the insult here... Christ, where _was _here? This couldnt really be Middle-Earth, could it? Oh, how she hated no knowing things... She felt like she'd died, gone to Hell and was sharing a room with Adolf Hitler. That was how well her day was going...  
"I meant---" she trailed off... Come to think of it, what did the insult 'bastard' actually mean. Even in England, it meant 'guy without a dad', didnt it? So, how was not having a dad an insult? Oh christ... She was getting philosophical, "-Forget it. Look, can you show me how to get out of here? Im completely and utterly lost."  
Elrohir was once again silent for so long it made her uncomfortable; were all elves like this? She had only spoken to him and Elrond, and they were so alike it was scary... After a while, Elrohir picked himself off the table and nodded, dipping his head so far that Caisha could have mistaken it for a bow; only she didnt, because chivalry was reserved for nights and such, wasnt it? Not for people who smiled benignly whilst his friends hit you over the back of the head with big sticks... "It would be a pleasure, Lad-" she shot him daggers at the beginning of the word, and he decided maybe it was better to placate the teenage, "-Caisha." he corrected himself, the amused smile returning...  
On her way out the library, she cut her leg again. She was going to burn that table, one day...

------

Perhaps she should have expected it; after all, Elrohir's reaction her mention of the Lord of the Rings might have indicated the time period she'd found herself in. However, dear little Caisha still found herself lost in the land of Denial, and hadn't registered the said response that well. Plus, she'd been hit over the head with a spear, and that tends to make people rather forgetful, unless the memory is including horses... Its a pity, really. Else she would have expected this... Really, she would have done.  
Elrohir had lead her back through the passages of the fortress-like House, Caisha noting that elves didn't give her strange looks when she walked with the son of Elrond... Good. Maybe she could chain him to her or something. That would get Illyra's attention; she'd completely destroy the morale of the actors -who she begrudingly noticed were very good at their job- to get back at her sister... Mwuhah--- wait a moment, did she still really believe that this was an elaborate set up? Illyra wouldnt have the brains, time or patience to set up something like this, nor hire the actors, set up the scene of Rivendell, get them all plastic surgery and then let it go on for so long...  
There was something dangerously wrong here... She stuck close to Elrohir, not wanting to get lost, thoroughly worried now... Okay, so if this wasnt a joke of her sisters, where the hell was she, and how had she got here? She clutched the mascara brush at her belt- for some reason, the bristles, devoid of any mascara traces after the little incident a while ago, gave her a strange comfort. And she began to hum the tune to _Wake me up when September ends_ to remind herself of pleasant hours watching Billie Joe Armstrong, Tre Cool (Yes, I cant be bothered doing the accent xD) and Mike Dirnt prance around on MTV... She was sorely missing her TV at this point. She'd already missed critical repeay episodes of _Scrubs _and _Two Pints of Larger and a Packet of Crisps_, undoubtedly her favourite shows... In case you couldnt tell... God bless Sky+ planner, she thought to herself...  
Elrohir gave her a strange look as she hummed along, which she chose to ignore; fine, let him think she was strange. Didn't matter to her... As soon as she could find out where she really was, she was getting out of there as fast as... She noticed that the cool marble of the flooring had given way to grass, and she glared at the neat emerald shards in detest; goddamn country-ness... She was a city girl, born and bred, from Manchester, though her mother and father had met in a small valley town called Glossop, in Derbyshire... She hated hills. And trees. She thought they were laughing at her when she wasnt looking; and here, hills and trees were in abundance. There was even a river, which babbled its laughter as she passed...  
"So, Caisha-" she noted happily Elrohir left the 'Lady' out of it this time "-here we are. Tell the maids if you have need of me again. I will be only too happy to help." he inclined his head in that half-nod half-bow thing again, and she glared at him in return, considering he was still wearing the smirk she had dubbed as the 'Holier-Than-Thou-Smirk'. He and Elrond were masters of it...   
She turned herself around, about to ask him who the Maids were, and how she'd be able to tell them apart from the others that milled around, only to discover he had already turned and disappeared from view... Damn elves and their silent moving!  
What could she do now? Now Elrohir had left her to the fate of the cruel grass and trees, she had begun to recieve the stares and looks again... Very well, she shall explore her new surroundings. It certainly looked pretty; its beauty was just wasted on her. All she saw was green. And blue, of course, as she looked at the river... She really was going to have to do something about her hair, she decided... Maybe she should cut it off and start again, from scratch... But then she'd just be bald... Then again, she could wear a headscar, or a wig...  
She had begun her meander from the courtyard when she was cleanly, and elegantly, bowled over by the muscle-laden body of a destrier-type of steed, a war horse if she ever saw one. It was a fine, attentive liver chestnut, with a flaxen mane and tail, which she noticed was braided just before she made contact with the ground. It was very hard ground, she decided. A very good quality, oh yes. Just not the sort for falling on, really. She preferred falling on feathers, come to think of it... The massive equine was reigned to a halt, the rider said something she didnt bother to listen to- no doubt insulting her for being in the way... That seemed to be how things worked around here. She could see the rim of the horses hooves out the corner of her eyes, and she became dimly aware of how familiar this situation was to her. No doubt this was going to be a regular occurance...  
Suddenly, as she remained unmoving on the floor, she felt herself be picked up as though she was as light as a feather, and set back on her booted feet... Wasnt that nice? Said a weak voice in the back of her head. She heard a voice asking her something, but she seemed fairly disconnected, and the world only stopped being so blurred when she was turned to face her helper, who had been riding the liver chestnut, considering they were holding the reigns in their hand...  
Her sullen blue eyes found the face of the said person, and she swallowed thickly, finding her throat had suddenly dried up. Oh crap... This wasnt possible... Was it?

**To Be Continued! **_- _Mwuhaha! A cliffie! Which member of the Fellowship will she meet? You get to decide Just vote for who you think the person should be in a review 3 It can be any of them- minus the Hobbits. Those four are already in Rivendell. We'll see them in the next chapter.  
So, tell me who you think the rider of the horse should be from:  
Legolas  
Gimli (Unlikely for him to be riding a horse, but oh well)  
Aragorn  
Boromir  
Gandalf  
The member of the Fellowship who gets the most votes will be seen in the next chapter 

And Im sorry if it wasnt that funny... Im trying, but its hard to incorporate my humour into these x3


	3. Of Trees, Lego Man and Broken Bones

**Disclaimer-** No, I own nothing I tell you... NOTHING! -sobs- Apart for Cay, that is

**Notes-** This chapters going to be slightly... insane. And our guest Fellowship character is... Boromir! Oh, and forgive me for all spelling mistakes. I dont have word check, and I seem to always miss a load. Oh, and '_Smells like Teen Spirit_' belongs to Nirvana

**Pronunciation of my characters-  
Caisha- **Cay-sha  
**Ysan- **Ee-san  
**Dyanai- **Di-yan-ey  
**Illyra- **Ill-aye-rar  
**Línarai- **Lee-nar-ey

**To my beloved reviewers- **MORE REVIEWS! -shifty eyes- sure, they're from the same two people, but what do I care? xD**  
GothicShadow- **Yep, I'm an Englander From Manchester  
**ChronicCheddar- **Huge wall of text? -hides under blanket- Im sowwi... Ill try breaking it up more Im used to writing actual stories, so my paragraphs get... lengthy. And I've actually not decided who Caisha's romance shall be p Depends which character I like best... She will have one, eventually, but right now shes far too confused to be thinking past Mars Bars. Even though that made no sense. We can just say that Boromir rode in on a liver chestnut It doesent alter the story that much. Right then... Lets get started 3

**-----------**

Last time on 'Oh sweet God, I'm a Mary Sue':

_She had begun her meander from the courtyard when she was cleanly, and elegantly, bowled over by the muscle-laden body of a destrier-type of steed, a war horse if she ever saw one. It was a fine, attentive liver chestnut, with a flaxen mane and tail, which she noticed was braided just before she made contact with the ground. It was very hard ground, she decided. A very good quality, oh yes. Just not the sort for falling on, really. She preferred falling on feathers, come to think of it... The massive equine was reigned to a halt, the rider said something she didnt bother to listen to- no doubt insulting her for being in the way... That seemed to be how things worked around here. She could see the rim of the horses hooves out the corner of her eyes, and she became dimly aware of how familiar this situation was to her. No doubt this was going to be a regular occurance...  
Suddenly, as she remained unmoving on the floor, she felt herself be picked up as though she was as light as a feather, and set back on her booted feet... Wasnt that nice? Said a weak voice in the back of her head. She heard a voice asking her something, but she seemed fairly disconnected, and the world only stopped being so blurred when she was turned to face her helper, who had been riding the liver chestnut, considering they were holding the reigns in their hand...  
Her sullen blue eyes found the face of the said person, and she swallowed thickly, finding her throat had suddenly dried up. Oh crap... This wasnt possible... Was it?_

**Chapter Two- Of Trees, Lego-Man and Broken Bones**

Flashback-  
_Two green eyes found hers as they stared solidly in return. They were set in a handsome face, framed by a crop of brown hair that fell to the rider's shoulders, looking slightly dishevelled at the moment. The males thin brows had pressed themselves into a concerned line as he looked at her- Caisha couldn't help but notice he looked disapproving, as well. Hell, was it her fault his horse knocked her over? Nope, I didnt think so...  
When she finally dragged her eyes from his, she looked at his attire. He was wearing a plain front lace close-fitting leather doublet, with black surcoat of rich material, along with what looked like classic, black leather riding boots. She noted the rounded sheild strapped to the horses saddle bags, along with what she presumed to be provisions. At his waist she saw he wore the ivory horn of Gondor, bound to his waist by a braided leather chord, finished in gold wrap, besides a sheathed sword with a cross-hilt. As she surveyed him, she felt those green eyes studying her own rather... improvised ... clothing, and it made her shift uncomfortably, glaring at him until his eyes returned to her... He wore plain black gauntlets, which he waved infront of her face to make sure she was fully focused,  
"Are you okay? That was quite a... spectacular fall."  
Caisha just gawped; she seemed to be doing a lot of this lately... Firstly, she was knocked over. And second, there was no way this was Sean Bean, was there...? Maybe Illyra had kidnapped him...? She wouldn't put it past her... She was addicted to Boromir; almost as much as the Lego-Man... Somehow, however, she didnt believe that Illyra having kidnapped him was possible. So what the hell was he doing here? And why was she there?  
With her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in shock and surprise, she had the feeling she resembled a Guppy fish at feeding time, but it didnt stop her continued to gape at him, looking entirely gormless. He returned her look with confusion, inching backwards a moment to try and escape the idiot she knew she must look like,  
"Are you okay?" he repeated, touching her shoulder hesitantly, as though the insanity might be contagious... She noticed he was wearing leather diamond shaped vambraces, edged with fold over leather trim, with a silver tree tolled and painted on the bottom half... Had she of cared, of course, she would have marvelled at the beauty of such creations. As it was, she did not, and she was only vaguely aware of the fine war charger lipping at her blue hair, her mind was awash with new thoughts, so much so she failed to notice. Automatically, her hand petted the steeds muscular neck, and he nuzzled into the space under arm, whuffling into her skin. She wasnt paying much attention, though, instead keeping her eyes trained on his face...  
"Uhm... Hold on, I'll go get you some help... Just you wait here..." he was speaking again; she noticed people did that a lot around here.  
Sean-Bean / Boromir- whatever his name was- took another few steps back, pulling the horse with him, looking thoroughly worried.  
That was too much for her... She was in a strange land, staring at someone who belonged in a film, not stood with a horse infront of her. She was wearing a tunic from ancient times in a way she wouldnt have worn for a Halloween party, she was armed with a mascara brush, people spoke strangely to her and she'd been knocked unconscious for two days by a pointy wooden stick, with no way of getting home...  
Caisha snapped...  
_**End Flash Back.**__

It had taken them an hour to get her out of the tree. And even then, they didnt actually get her out...  
For once, the boughed creation didnt want to let her go; everytime someone attempted to climb up to her, they fell, elf or no, leaving her watching them, wide-eyed and petrified from the top branches, singing _Smells like Teen Spirit _desperately. It was probably the first time anyone had seen an elf look dishevelled; Elrond was almost bouncing on the ground, glaring up at her, trying to catch her attention as she watched Elrohir and Elladan slide into a heap at the bottom of the tree, having tried to climb up it yet again. No matter how hard they tried, they couldnt get a solid perchase on the branches. Caisha put it down to them trying to climb in those outfits. They didn't look like they were made for scrabbling up the scenery...  
Besides Elrond, she spotted Boromir, still holding the liver chestnut horse, watching her with a worried expression; once Caisha had snapped, she'd shoved him out the way and darted to the nearest tree, screaming about Mars Bars and having blue hair, forgetting completely about her dress-like tunic as she clambered up the branches. She'd been sat up there for a while now, on the top boughs which overhung the river, having momentarily forgotten her hatred of all things tree-like, or green. No doubt he thought she was completely mad. Not to mention how terrified she'd been when she thought she was seeing double, when Elrohir and Elladan had arrived- she thought she was seeing two of Elrohir, having no idea they were twins... And then, when the two tried to climb up the trunk, it had only served to scare her more, thinking her visions were coming to get her...  
She just wanted to go home.  
Elrond was still trying to catch her attention,  
"Lady! Lady Caisha! You must come down from up there!"  
She ignored him, singing loud and amazingly off-key. Normally, she wasnt a bad singer, but today, fears were making her jittery and she only sang to try and block out all the days events;  
"_With the lights out it's less dangerous,  
Here we are now,  
Entertain us,  
I feel stupid and contagious,  
Here we are now,  
Entertain usssssssssss!_" she clamped her eyes tight shut, not looking at the dizzying distance between herself and the ground; oh yes, did I forget to mention she was terrified of heights?  
Actually, no, that was wrong. She wasnt afraid of heights; she could walk past tall trees and buildings without batting a eye. It was being ontop of those heights and falling from them that worried her; hence her fear of _depth_. Surely, anyone in their right mind would be petrified of falling from a height to their death at the hands of the ground? She knew she was... Then again, she wasnt exactly in her right mind at the moment, was she?  
"Dár! Caisha!" that was Elrohir, she noted, though tuned out the rest of his sentance; sounded something like 'Not safe'... What wasnt safe? Her mental stability? She knew that much...  
She was oblivious to the fact she had twigs and leaves sticking out of her hair, so that she resembled a rather impressive human nest, nor that a rather friendly little sparrow had perched itself on her shoulder, chirping down her ear in union with the song... All she knew as the Nirvana track repeating itself in her head;  
"_A mulatto  
An albino  
A mosquito  
My Libido  
Yeeeeeaaaaaah!_"  
Something small, sharp and shaped suspiciously like a stone hit her in the side of the head, which rocked her out of her song; she almost fell from the tree with her shock, but managed to somehow cling to the branches, glaring down to see who'd do such a henious crime. Everyone was staring at Boromir, astonished, who was looking anywhere but at them, innocently whistling. Even the horse was looking nonchalant, tossing his head to and fro and nickering in what she presumed to be amusement. Caisha glowered, leaning forward out of the tree to shout at the steward of Gondor's son, hodling on tightly to two of the thicker boughs;  
"You son of a ---!" only she never quite got there. The tree had decided finally had enough of her weight and off-key singing, and deposited her rather rudely on the floor at their feet. Oh, she knew it looked like she'd slipped on her grip, but really, she knew it was different. The tree had chucked her. All trees were evil; there was proof. She'd been holding on tight enough- it just didnt like her. She was dimly aware of pain shooting up her entire left side as she landed awkwardly, and several cracks as the tree threw a few branches down after her, some bouncing and rolling away, others just landing on her and staying there happily... Just before she blacked out, she was aware that she was once again laying on the grass, and could see Boromir's horse's hooves out of the corner of her eye... That was too rich... Oh, someone was going to pay for this...  
"I hate trees." she muttered thickly, before slipping into unconsciousness once again...  
And it would seem the trees hated her.

------

When Caisha finally awoke, she wished she hadn't.  
Dimly aware that she was actually in a bed this time, rather than sprawled across the floor, she had wakened to see four faces pressed over her bed, looking at her curiously. She recognised them immediately, and groaned; Boromir was nearest, on her left, looking rather worried about the whole thing, taking a step back when he saw she was awake. Elrond was on the right, looking stern but rather amused, and at the foot of her bed, the twins Elrohir and Elladan were watching her curiously, trying to hide their entertained smiles.  
Elrond was speaking, but she wished he wasnt, purely because she had yet another pounding headache and the world was still spinning into focus;  
"We are glad to see you awake, Lady Caisha."  
Caisha snorted in a most unlady like fashion, and pulled a face, "Its just Caisha." she growled, glaring up at the elf Lord, who gave her the Holier-Than-Thou smile. Elrohir's smile widened at this comment, and he whispered something to Elladan, whose own smile became broader. She noticed Boromir had backed a significant way, so that he was leaning against the window-less arches that were trying to be windows, and that Elrond had become incredibly stern, glaring down at her. She wondered why the hell the elf lord was wearing a dress...  
"What the hell happened?" she muttered, trying to move her hands up to rub her pounding temples; only her right hand responded. She was incredibly freaked by this new slot of information, and tried to struggle into a sitting position, whilst attempting to move her left arm, noticing for a moment it was in a sling that hung about her neck. Elrond's hand, about ten times stronger than Caisha would have guessed, pressed her back into the pillows,  
"You fell from the tree, La---" there was not a elf, human, dwarf, hobbit or other creature in the world that could have carried on speaking with that glare. It was a Grade A glare, that Caisha reserved only for her little brothers when they'd stepped over the line again.  
"I did not fall from the tree. It chucked me. And my name is just Caisha; I'm no lady." she continued to glare, until it was broken by Boromir's words;  
"That much at least is true..." he gave a snicker of laughter.  
She turned her head, even through the pain of her headache, to gawp at him,  
"Excuse you?" she tried to struggle up again, looking defiant, but Elrond kept her pressed down with his sturdy hand. The twins could not help but laugh at this point, watching the scene fold out.  
Boromir shrugged, looking out of the arch-type-window thing casually, scratching something into the stone with the tip of his nail;  
"I was merely implying that you, _lady,-_" he but an exagerated emphasis on the word, clearly mocking her. Caisha's eyes narrowed dangerously, still struggling to sit up despite the pressure on her right shoulder, "-have no idea of how to act with the dignity and self-respect expectant in Ladies."  
How strange... You could almost hear the capital 'L' in his voice. She was livid at his insult; but then again, she couldnt falter him on it- she had just climbed a tree and sang off-key Nirvana tracks for an hour.  
"Well you---" she began, but it was Elrohir that cut her off, turning to look at Boromir,  
"And yet you, Boromir, son of Denethor, are not acting like a gentleman of your station. Elladan did himself see you knock her over with your charger." Elladan nodded, "Aye, that is true. And you claimed it was her fault, for being in your way..."  
It was Boromir's turn to glower at the twins, and Caisha continued to gape at the Gondor steward's son, secretly pleased the two twins had stuck up for her, "Really? Because thats not fair. It was your fault! And---"  
"Peace, hîn-" she was interupted in her angry flow by the elven Lord. Seeing her confusion, Elladan mouthed the word 'Children' at her from the end of her bed. She turned her glare onto Elrond now. She prefered 'lady' to 'child'. Elrond chose to ignore her for the moment, "-As I was saying, Híril Caisha-" she got the distinct impression he was calling her 'Lady' again, and her glare intensified itself, "-You fell from the tree... We believe you somehow injured your head when Boromir knocked you down-" now it was Boromir's turn to glare "-and that was what caused you to act as you did..." There was a disbelieving snicker of laughter from the corner holding Boromir. Elrohir and Elladan both turned to glower at him, and Caisha wanted to punch the air; take that, arrogant son of Demblebee or whatever he was called... Only, she would have punched the air- despite the fact it was physically impossible for her to move her left arm. Elrond continued on, noticing her distress, "When you fell from the tree, you broke your arm."  
Caisha was alarmed; she'd never broken anything, apart for other peoples noses and that really expensive vase her mother had brought- she struggled desperately to sit up, fighting against Elrond's hand. Elrohir looked rather worried at her shock and alarm, but Elladan seemed amused- and Boromir? She couldnt care less about him.  
"Settle, hén-" that must mean child, she concluded. "-I have mended the bone. It will be numb for a day or so, so that the effects of the healing can wear off. That is why you cannot feel it..." Elrond placed his hand on her forehead, and the pounding headache that was haunting her slowly coiled away, leaving her thinking clearer than she had done in a while; his touch calmed her significantly, and she stopped struggling, staring up at the elf Lord and planning her revenge on the tree.  
No doubt, it would involve a sharp, pointy-ended object and possibly a burning torch...  
"So..." she began, relieved to find her voice was smooth and she sounded sane again- the other four looked fairly relieved as well, and Boromir even risked taking a few steps closer to the bed, hesitant, wary of Elrohir and Elladan's glares, "Tell me truthfully. Where am I?" she looked at each face carefully, looking for signs of lying. She was an expert at telling when people did so; you didnt live in a house with two younger twin brothers and three younger sisters without picking up on the tricks.  
Elrohir sighed, as Elrond rested his hand against the tip of her forehead, which had cooled significantly- she presumed she had a fever, judging by the heat she'd felt when she'd woken up, "You are in the Last Homely House of Lord Elrond, Caisha, in Rivendell."  
She was silent for a long time, mulling this other; "And you wouldnt lie about this?" she couldnt help the hopeful tone of her voice.  
Elrond spoke up now, shaking his head, "No... Why would we do so?"  
Caisha's hope deflated and she sighed, shrugging her right shoulder, "I thought it was an elaborate joke of my sisters..."  
"Ah yes. Illyra. So you kept saying..."  
Caisha sighed and nodded, biting her bottom lip nervously, worrying the skin; "So, its definately not a big set up?"  
"Im afraid not... But now, you must rest. It seems your body does what it can to return to bed; perhaps you should stay it in a while... The maid Línarai will tend to you... When you are fully recovered, we will talk properly. Rest well, Tithen Vanwa Min..." and Elrond was gone again, sweeping out of the room, followed quickly by Boromir. She looked at the two twins, who were grinning at her, and blinked,  
"What does... Tithen Vanwa Min mean?" she blinked in her ignorant confusion. Elrohir's grin widened;  
"It means Little---" he began-  
"---Lost One." Finished Elladan for him. Wow, this was going to get confusing... There were like older versions of Coal and Ryan... This realisation made her insides squirm unhappily, and she dropped her gaze to the sheet covering her... She noticed, as she did so, that someone had changed her clothes, combed her dishevelled blue hair and slipped her into a nightgown; she hoped to god it had been that Línarai girl...  
The tunic and boots was no-where to be seen, though someone had left her white belt on the bedside table, along with the mascara brush. With her right hand, she turned herself and gripped it tightly, squeezing her eyes shut, trying to blot out the realisation that, maybe, just maybe, she really was in Middle Earth... And that she wouldn't be seeing home for a long while...  
When she was sure she had conquered her tears, she re-opened her glistening eyes to look around the room carefully; nothing else had changed, except that someone had left a gown folded neatly over the back of a nearby chair, as well as a matching cloak and boots...  
She rolled her eyes irritably; it figures...  
Her day could not get anyworse.  
As always, she was dead wrong.

------

She didnt like the dress.  
It was made of pale blue silk with a beautifully scooped oval neck and a cowl draped collar, with the body traced in an eight-point petal pattern, in silver and white, made of thread and pearls, chain stitched to form the expanding petals and hand beaded in the centre. The skirt flaired wildly and the train must have been at least ten inches on the ground. The sleeves were a cream silk, full length and which fell down to cover her hands, embroided in a different pattern to that of the main dress, though they weren't patterned at top of the arms, and the whole thing was bound by a loop-lacing, tied by a narrow chord.  
Over this, she wore a long, pale silk satin cloak, slightly off-white in colour, like a creamy silver, with self-lined hood and worn with the edge folded back. It had a wide over shoulder yoke that dropped to a point at the front and back that descends almost to her waist. The yoke had narrow piping on the edge. There was a tassel in the back. There was also a couched cord design on the cloak hood and large yoke, and fastened about her neck with a leaf-shaped brooch. It was elegant, and beautiful; it so did not belong on Caisha...  
Especially not when she had blue hair.  
When Caisha had told Línarai she was getting up, having only spent an hour or two in bed, the elf maid had first tried to stop her, but when she discovered Caisha's stubbornness, Línarai had insisted she wear it- she kept repeating something in Sindarin, or maybe it was in Quenya. She had no idea about the difference.  
All in all, Caisha was now dressed up like one of the porcelain elves, and she hated it... She'd pulled the hood of the cloak up to hide her hair from view, so that she wouldnt be quite so noticeable or recognisable in the crowds... Of course, her arm was still up in the sling, numb and unable to move, but at least now she could go on her way unhindered, under the pretence she was a fellow elf- dressed like this, at least, she didnt get weird looks...  
She was looking up at the sky, which was nearing about midday, when she felt herself collide with something at her waist; it caused her to stumble slightly, but the other thing was knocked over... She blinked, and managed to stumble out; "Nin díhen..." in a whisper, bending down her good arm to help the person up- at least she had found out how to say her apologies in Sindarin, thanks to Línarai.  
It was only when the person was stood up again that she noticed who it was;  
"Meriadoc Brandybuck!" she actually grinned; at last, one of the only likeable characters... She hadnt seen hide nor hair of Boromir, Elrohir, Elladan or Elrond since they'd left her room. Línarai said they were talking in Elrond's study, and Caisha chose to leave them to it. Boromir was probably seeing how many points he could get if he knocked her over again... Maybe he'd borrow a pointy stick from Elrohir or Ysan this time.  
Merry blinked in bewilderment, and stammered out a clumsy; "Suilads..." as a greeting. _He thinks I'm one of the elves... _"Do I know you?" he asked timidly when she didnt answer, staring up at the robed girl...  
Oh right... They didn't know about the book or film here; "Uhm, no, you dont." he looked slightly relieved; he'd probably heard how insane she was. Either that or she didnt speak in Sindarin to him, "But I've heard of you; and of the others."  
Merry brushed himself off and continued to look at her, curious, "Really? Because we havent heard of you." that was Merry- straight and to the point.  
"No, you wouldnt have... I'm Caisha." her hand extended itself to shake his own- he eyed it, then bowed low to the ground,  
"Meriadoc Brandybuck, at your service and your family's-" she felt a small pang there "-Please to meet you, miss."  
She had been about to say something else when a second Hobbit-sized figure catapulted itself from the shadows of the stone courtyard into Merry, bowling him over and over across the slabs, tussling with him;  
"Ah-hah! Take that, Brandybuck! I'll teach you to steal my carrots!"  
It was Pippin... Who else? Caisha grinned with delight as she watched the two short characters wrestle about her feet, before she felt it was time to intercede. Like she would pick up her twin brothers, she pulled the two apart with her right arm and held Pippin by the scruff of his shirt, surveying him with amusement, "Peregrin Took, I would have expected better than you."  
Peregrin squeaked in protest at being so manhandled, until he spotted Caisha and her attire; he, like Merry, presumed she was one of the elven kin, and flushed a deep red,  
"But he'm stole me carrots, lady."  
Caisha put on a pained expression at the word, but let it pass, smiling in her best serene way from one Hobbit to the other, "And do you have no more carrots, Peregrin?"  
"Yes'm, lady..." he mumbled again...  
She placed him back on the ground, looking suddenly stern, "Call me Lady again and I'll take your carrots and---"  
The collison with quick and rather painless. At least it was a stone floor. Thats all she could say. There'd be no risk of getting grass stains on her fantastically-not-for-her dress... As she lay on the floor for the second time that day, swearing under her breath into the dust that crowded her, she was vaguely aware of Pippin and Merry laughing in the way of people who had heard a funny joke but didnt want to laugh- stiffled giggles- as yet another pair of hands lifted her to her feet, asking her apologetically if she was okay...  
Not looking at her helper, she brushed the elegant dress free of dirt it had accumulated in her fall with her right hand and pulled the hood back up, then turned to send her Grade A glare at the rider of the second horse to have knocked her over that day... Prince Legolas of Mirkwood stared back, unfazed, looking concerned for her health (or perhaps her mentalility- perhaps Boromir had got to him first and given him pointers on how to knock her down well). Behind him, she could see a small group of elves who had followed him here, all reigning their horses to a halt as their Prince spoke to the mad girl with blue hair...  
"Oh..." she said, like she couldnt believe her eyes, "Its the Lego-man..."  
It looked like the Council of Elrond had begun...

**To be Continued- **Weee D  
I figured I'd best get the story moving on a bit.  
I hope thats broken up enough for you, ChronicCheddar  
Anyone else who reviews gets twenty minutes in a cupboard with a Fellowship member of their choice (you so know you want to.)_  
_


	4. Of Hissy Fits, Shampoo and Being a Lady

**Disclaimer-** Do I really have to do this? -whispers to someone- What? Yes? Really? Oh, fine... -glares at reader- I dont own LotR... I only own me, and I own that badly enough... Happy now? -skulks off to beat up copyright lawyers-

**Notes-** Weee D You may think Caisha's completely off her rocker... and you'd be right! Well, at the moment she is... This time, we will be meet the Council of Elrond and a rather huffy character called Fred... Also, Lego-man will have a bit of a fit. Ever seen an elf loose it? No? You never will... But you can read about it here  
Oh, and for the benefit of my story, Caisha speaks Westron, kapish? -gives everyone evils- I know its not the same as English, but it is here P so nheh! Though there will be a lot of elvish going on in this chapter, considering the elves like talking normally, which Caisha gets all pissy abouto

**BIG NOTE- Im going on holiday!  
**I know... I'll miss you all too -sniffle- I should be back in a week or so- I'm going tomorrow morning to Turkey... Wee So I wont be able to update for a while -sulks-

**Pronunciation of my characters-  
Caisha- **Cay-sha  
**Ysan- **Ee-san  
**Dyanai- **Di-yan-ey  
**Illyra- **Ill-aye-rar  
**Línarai- **Lee-nar-ey

**To my beloved reviewers- **All reviwers get cookies 3 weeeee.I got MORE reviewers D I feel loved. As promised, **Crecy, xkuroxshinobix, rachor** and **Dutch's Girl** get twenty minutes in a cupboard with their favourite Fellowship member! Yehaw.  
**  
Crecy- **Lego-man to the rescue I'll try and update as much as I can... Thank ye for reviewing! -gives cookie-

**Dutch's Girl- **Why thank you D Have a cookie. -gives one-

**ChronicCheddar- **Ooo She sounds like a gem... I used to have an Hanoverian cross for show-jumping and cross-country, but I outgrew him... Wait, I've already said this o0 And yes, lots more broken bones on the way... Yes, Lego-man and Borrie, as Boromir shall henceforth be known from this chapter... They obviously have obsessions with knocking poor Cay down with their horses. Oh, and for being such a loyal reviewer, you get -shifty eyes- half an hour in the cupboard with Legolas _and _Boromir... -shoves you into cupboard-

**xkuroxshinobix- **Im sorry -huddles into blanket- I tend to get a bit... carried away. I'll try cutting them down more Have a cookie! -gives- I just do my paragraphs different to everyone else; they just start on new lines...  
**  
Rachor- **My family still haven't learnt to stop twitching about me... Its rather depressing, really 3 But if I take my medication six times a day, its all good And the men in white coats dont visit me that much anymore... I can scare believe the images that line conjured for you as bad as the ones that I got xP Thanks for reviewing, you good little anti-social oddball, you! -gives cookie-

**GothicShadow- **I've heard of Huntingdon Never been there, but Ive heard of it. The romance? I'm not too sure xD Theres so many options... Who do you think? Im trying to decide between Elrohir/Elladan/Legolas and Boromir o.0 Any ideas? Oh, and you also get half an hour in the cupboard with two Fellowship characters enjoy -shoves-  
Thats a good idea actually, about the romance... I'll make you all vote

**Tiro narn nîn! - **(Heheh... Means look at my story )

**-----------**

Chapter Three - Of Royal Hissy Fits, Shampoo and Being a Lady

Legolas, son of Thranduil of Mirkwood, heir to the throne and elven representive-to-be for the Fellowship, has been summed up in two words; the Lego-Man.  
He was looking down at something. Something dressed in an elegant and beautiful gown, face and (most specifically) hair covered by a creamy silver cloak, that could perhaps pass for ice colour at a distance... Something that appeared to have passed out a few moments ago because the day's events were once again becomming too much for her, and had only avoided once again hitting the floor for the fourth time that day by the speedy movements of two four-foot something high Hobbits and the arms of the Prince...  
The two little hobbit-sized figures who were propping her upright were having a rather... strange argument;  
"Merry, I want my carrots back."  
"No."  
"Merry..."  
"No."  
"Fine. If you dont give me my carrots, I wont ever let you eat the mushrooms we brought with us. _Ever_."  
"Pippin! You wouldnt!"  
"You know I would."  
"Fine, fine... Just dont do that."  
There was a moment of confused rustling as Caisha was left half-hanging off the blonde-haired elven prince with her right arm and half-falling into space, before Meriadoc Brandybuck produced a small bunch of broken-ended and dirtied carrots. With a reluctant sulk on his face, he handed them to the second hobbit, then resumed being a pillar support for Caisha's body-  
"Y'know, for a two-leg, shes pretty damn heavy..."  
"I heard that..." Caisha was stirring, slowly opening her eyes and looked down reproachfully at Merry, with a Grade B 'look'... The hobbit blushed a colour that might have rivalled Illyra's on a bad day, such as if Caisha caught her snogging the picture of Viggo... I mean, how scary is an elder sister who knows stuff about you she could use to destroy whatever social life you've managed to scrape together? Exactly.  
Merry began to stammer out an apology, but she shook her head to force him into silence, then stopped, because it made her skull ache again. And then she realised exactly who she was clinging to. In the awkward silence that followed, she managed to support herself without the other three, though she did sway slightly as she waited for the world to stop being evil and cease it's nauseous spinning. And she wished to God that the Lego-Man would stop looking at her like that- it was one of those 'I'm only going to look concerned because its polite, but really I detest you and I want to boil you slowly on a spit, then feed you to my dog.' Which, if you think about it, is quite an impressive amount to put into one look. But he managed it, easily, and it made Caisha jut out her jaw in defiance.  
"That..." she muttered, once she felt confident enough that she wasnt about to keel over again, "Is the second time I've passed out today. What did I do this time?"  
She used one of the hobbit's heads to prevent herself tripping again, as the world lurched, and only let him go again once the danger was passed. Pippin quickly skitted out of her way to prevent it happening again, rubbing the top of his head with one hand and clutching his carrots to him with the other, muttering under his breath.  
As it was, it was the Lego-Man that answered,  
"Gen iston, elleth?" Caisha shot him the biggest death glare she could muster that didn't require too much effort on her part when she heard the word 'elf maiden'. Before leaving her room, she had asked for a few basic words in Sindarin- such as greetings, apologies, and any phrases people might just use against her, like 'lady', 'child' or 'maiden'... So, he, too, thought she was an elf- probably a very strange one, what with blue hair, but still... This was going to be awkard- though it didn't stop her giving him a minimal glare. She wasnt felling one hundred percent better, however, so as a result she probably just looked constipated, not scary. She realised the Lego-Man was still talking--- "-Agorel am man theled?"  
Ahh yes. That damn elvish talk? She didnt understand a word he was saying... She'd only recognised 'elf maiden' in there... She vowed to discover how to speak this language; after all, he could probably be saying 'Do you want me to kill you, elf maiden? Or would you like to spare the world of your insanity yourself?' She groaned inwardly; just when she'd been slowly coming to grips with her new surroundings and that maybe, just _maybe_ this place was Rivendell- and he had to show up... She felt herself quivering as her body tried to graple with the new information, as Legolas looked at her strangely- no doubt wondering why she was just gawping at him, rather than answering whatever it was he was asking...  
In the silence that followed, as she blinked dumbly at him, and Merry went to join Pippin in devouring the carrots, she noticed his clothing. Yep, just like he looked in the movies... A basic two toned suede jerkin, worn over a pale silk shirt and dark suede trousers, with knee high boots that allowed him to go about, moving silently. He wore wide leather vambraces, similar to Boro... Bor... Bo... Borrie! She was too tired and woozy to bother thinking of his real name. And she noticed that the he had a bow and quiver of arrows slung over his back, and her shaking intensified... What could she say to an irate Prince of Mirkwood? If she said something wrong, his little entourage of elf minions might attack her... And she rather liked her eyes as they were, un-gouged. As it was, she just stared blankly at him, before looking at his horse.  
It was beautiful, but then again, all elvish horses were beautiful... She wondered, as her hand reached out to stroke the soft velvet muzzle of the dappled grey equine, how she'd adjust to the horses back home in England, if she ever got back there...  
Her thoughts, as usual, were interrupted by a familiar voice cutting across- it was Elladan, leaning against the stone wall of the House, looking across at them... Or perhaps Eldorado? No... She remembered Elrohir wearing a different tunic, when he'd been stood at the foot of her bed... So it was Elladan? Yes? Okay. Good. He so needed a nickname...  
Both she and the Lego-Man turned to look at him, as he spoke;  
"Le ava chenia, Prince Legolas. Ava bêd i laim edhellin..." (-She doesent understand you, Prince Legolas. She doesent speak the Elven languages.-) Caisha was astounded; okay, so it wasnt Spanish, _or _French... Did they seriously expect her to believe this was real Elvish? How could people even _begin _to understand this language, let alone speak it? Then again, she had flunked German and got a U on her French GCSE... Languages were so not her forte... She wondered what the hell the two were saying...  
Legolas was looking from her to Elladan, looking confused, "Díheno i lû?" (- forgive the matter? -) he asked Caisha cautiously- Elladan rolled his eyes in the shadows,  
"Se firin! Le ava chenia!" (- She is mortal! She doesent understand you! -)  
Caisha was getting pissed; this was rude. Very rude. She so wished she could understand what the hell the pointy-eared freaks were saying about her...  
Legolas looked even more confused, glancing from Caisha clothes to Elladan, before clearing his throat and trying again, "You speak Westron?"  
Finally! A language she could understand,  
"Yes?" the statement had the hint of a question in it, as her brows furrowed in confusion, "What were you two _saying?_"  
The Lego-Man shook his head, "It is of no matter. Are you okay?"  
"Yes?" again, another question, rather than a statement, "You get used to to it, after the second time running." she glared at him  
"Second time?" Legolas looked even more confused that she did.  
Elladan saved the situation again,  
"Boromir of Gondor knocked her down this morning..."  
Lego-Man was trying hard not to laugh, she could tell. It made her growl inwardly, and was about to voice her exact opinion of the fact his hair was longer than her own, and he looked better in dresses, when she realised he was speaking again;  
"I apologise... Will you forgive me?"  
Hes trying _so _hard not to laugh... Oooh, I am going to get my revenge, one day... Come to me, all nice, sharp, pointy-end objects!  
"We'll see."  
He looked slightly affronted- mwuaha, more destroying of the calm elf expressions! -before covering it up quickly,  
"I see... Well, I am sorry, nevertheless..." he dipped his head, and almost headbutted her- she took a few steps backwards, nearly tripping over the train of her gown. The Lego-Man turned to Elladan, who had been watching, silently laughing, just like his damn twin, from the shadows.  
"Mas i 'ovaded, Elladan?" (- Where is the meeting, Elladan? -) Caisha glowered at the use of Sindarin once again...  
"Nin aphado..." (- follow me -) Then he turned to Caisha, and gave a bow, not quite as deep or elaborate as the Lego-Man's had been, "Will you be joining us, Tithen Vanwa Min?" his grey eyes were dancing with untold mirth in the same way his twin's had done, the previous day...  
She was going to _kill _Elrond...

-------  
**  
Meanwhile, at number Twenty-Seven, Westcove Street, Manchester, England;**

_Let our gaze tear itself away from Orlando Bloom and Sean Bean for a moment, and fly back through worlds; side step through dimensions, and arrive in the dining room of a rather forlorn looking house. It's a rather nice room, mostly taken up by a large dining table, made of old oak and ending in four curved legs. About the table, in matching oak chairs, there are sat seven people - two adults and five children, ranging from teens to youngsters. There is little cheer; at the head of the table, a man with gaunt, hollow blue eyes, tousled black hair, a grim expression, and an unfocused look passes a salt shaker across to a woman of similar state; she has brunette hair scraped back into a tight bun and eyes of bright blue. She has been beautiful at some stage, up until recently, but now some sort of tragedy has pulled the life from her look and beauty... She is a shell of her former shelf..._

The five children seated nearby look on sadly, and know they cannot stop the transformation for their parents. There are two twin boys, who, under normal circumstances, would have been causing hell for all who sit at the table, but they don't have the heart to start the trouble this day. There are short, maybe only seven or eight in years, and have identical features; tousled black hair, to match their fathers, freckles all over their nose and cheeks, with bright blue eyes... Identical... Only, the twin on the right has green flecks in his eyes, a flaw that is the only possible way to tell the two boys apart. They sat next to a short girl, who is humming along half-heartedly to a Lord of the Rings track on her iPod, pushing her food around her plate with a fork dejectedly... She has the same black hair as the twins, only her eyes were brown, something she'd apparently inherited from her grandmother; her face is as similarly gaunt, following the haunted look of her parents. At fourteen, she is the second eldest in the family, and understands the situation better than her other siblings, though they still have a fairly good idea...

Opposite her, two girls sit side by side- one looks about five or six, with brunette hair and startling green eyes and the other is about twelve, with short, cropped black hair that flicks out at the ends, framing her face beset by two dull blue eyes... No-one is speaking- a silent melancholy has settled on the family and is pressing in on all sides. Visitor's have stopped turning up at the house- the sense of joy and together-ness that had once lived there has dispersed, having been replaced by a cloud of dark thoughts and sadness... But there is also a faint hope- after all, it has only been four days since the disappearance of the eldest child...  
It is the fourteen year old, who went by the name of Illyra, who speaks first,  
"We don't know she's been kidnapped..."  
The mother, the once-beautious creature, brings her head up sharply,  
"No, we don't... But this is not a suitable discussion from the dinner table."  
Illyra frowns, irritated,  
"We need to speak about it... Look at us! It's tearing this family apart."  
It is her fathers turn to look up, hollow eyes finding his second eldest sadly- he does not have the effort to be angry or irritated;  
"She's been gone for four solid days... No note, nothing... What can we say about it?"  
Illyra sighs,  
"Have we checked all her friends houses? Her mobile, her computer, her---"  
It is the twelve year old who cuts across her. She goes by the name of Kamella, and has a temper as short as her hair;  
"Just leave it Illyra... No-ones seen her. She left her mobile, theres nothing on it, nothing on her computer but joke emails, and theres no trace of her..."  
One of the twin boys lets out what sounds like a muffled sob. Illyra casts him a sympathetic glance, but that is the extent of it as she turns back to look at Kamella-  
"I know but, like... kidnapped? I dont think she even left the house... The last I saw of her, she was in her bedroom. I was in the living room from then on, and didnt see or hear her leave..."  
Kamella shakes her head irritably,  
"Maybe she went out the back door..."  
One of the twins, the one with the green flecks in his eye, who has been called Coal by a rather strange mother, with a fondness for weird names, speaks up, with a frown wrinkling his freckled face, rolling a fishfinger back and forth across his plate;  
"She couldn't 'av... Me'n'Ryan were playin' by the back door, wi' Romell..."  
Romell is the family's dog- a grey and white Miniature Schnauzer, loyal as ever, curled up by Coal's feet at the moment, snoring softly... Illyra gives Kamella a triumphant look;  
"You see? She couldn't have gone out the back..."  
Kamella pulls a face, "What're you saying? That she just disappeared into thin air, from the middle of her room?"  
Illyra frowns, wondering whether she could hit her sister with a chip before anyone notices what she was doing... Deciding against it, she chooses to retaliate with words, "I think that options more likely than a kidnapping."  
Their mother, having listened to the situation with brooding patience, finally cuts in-  
"Enough! There will be no more talk of this at the table... Eat your dinners; they're getting cold."

------__

**Back at the Last Homely House, Rivendell, Middle-Earth, just outside the Council Chamber;**_  
_**  
**She hated elves.  
All the way towards the council chamber, Elladan and Legolas had been speaking in Sindarin. Constantly. Ignoring her...  
Elladan was stood there, having paused outside the courtyard in which the Council of Middle-Earth had gathered... Elladan had pulled Legolas aside, and Caisha lingered nearby, chewing on her bottom lip and wondering what Illyra would say if she could see her now... Probably 'die', now she came to think of it... She heard Elladan speaking, and stared blankly ahead, trying hard to interpret the language, with no luck;  
"Im prestannen asson, Legolas." (- I am worried for her, Legolas -) Elladans eyes flicked from Caisha, who was glaring moodily at them, and back to Legolas, "Sui na Elrohir..." (- As is Elrohir -)  
"Am man theled?" (- for what purpose? -) (i.e, why?)  
"Se firin...Na i 'aer ah in elin!" (- She is mortal... By the sea and stars! -) Legolas looked slightly shocked at the vigour in Elladans voice... Elladan calmed himself, "Boe hain anno edraith." (- She needs saving -)  
Legolas' look of confusion flitted across his face again;  
"Man o?" (- what from? -)  
Elladan gave a benign smile, though there was a hint of mischeif in his face, replying in Westron "Everything."  
Caisha, who had been lying in wait like a lion on a gazelle, pounced on the conversation, glaring at the two tall elves talking besides her, "What? Whats everything? What the hell are you two _saying!"  
_Legolas glanced at the human teen; she certainly looked like she needed saving... A broken arm, blue hair, and her attitude would not get her far in life... Only, maybe, she'd last longer than expected in Middle-Earth; there was something about the lift of her jaw, and defiant look in her eyes, that made him think maybe it wasnt her who needed saving. He turned back to Elladan, shaking his head,  
"Ae han anírach..." (- If you desire it -)  
Elladan placed his hand on Legolas' shoulder tightly, in a comrade-ship gesture and nodding, smile twisting his lips, "Han aníron..." (- I desire it -)  
Legolas watched the other suspiciously, but didnt voice his opinions of the fellow elves look; "Navaer... I laiss e-guil lîn ava fîr." (- Farewell... May the leaves of your life never die. -)  
Elladan gave a second nod, dropping his hand from the Prince's shoulders, "Raid lîn celin a melthin nal lû i agovaded vîn, Legolas." (- May your ways be green and golden until we next meet, Legolas. -) and then he turned to Caisha, who returned his look with a glare,  
"Well!" she muttered, "Its about time _someone _noticed I was here, for Chrissakes. What, am I invisible to all but horses that like knocking me over?"  
The twin was just smiling his irritating Holier-Than-Thou look, eyebrow raised- Caisha wondered whether it was in danger of disappearing into his hair line... Very nice hair, mind. Had she mentioned that? All elves had nice hair... Damn them all to hell! He looked amused again- inside, Caisha seethed... The next person to laugh at her silently would be getting impaled on her mascara brush...  
"You are not invisible, Tithen Vanwa Min-" she glowered again from beneath the rim of her cloaks hood, but he pretended not to have seen "-You were invited to sit in at the Council, so I suggest you realise what an honour it is and not do anything... silly." she squirmed under his gaze, and dropped her eyes... Big deal- she'd seen the Council scene so many times... Then again, they didnt know that, did they? Maybe she could screw something up so she could go with them...  
A small voice in the back of her hair picked itself out of the unused corner and shook its head; dont be silly. You'd change the whole course of history!  
The other small thoughts prodded it with sticks until it squirmed almost as much as she did under Elladans gaze, whilst one of them spoke to her. She almost imagined a cartoon angel and devil hanging off her shoulders- she even flicked her eyes to the shoulders of the cloak to check they werent there... She presumed it was the devlish side that was speaking; well, you didnt ask to be here, did you? You dont even _like _Lord of the Rings, do you? So what do you care? You laughed when Borrie died, whilst your sister cried her eyes out! Are you just gonna sit around whilst everyone runs off to have fun adventures?  
No... I didnt think so.  
She was vaguely aware of Elladan clasped a hand about her shoulder, squeezing it through the cloak for a moment, before dropping it, "Until next time, Caisha..."  
And he was gone. Just like that, silently disappearing down one of the many corridors... She gawped after him- how did they _do _that! One day, she was going to write a book on elves... She was going to call it '101 Ways to Annoy Eldorado and Lego-Man...'  
Number one... Call them Eldorado or Lego-Man...  
Number two... Steal their shampoo  
Number three... Sing Christina Aguilera's 'Beautiful' at the top of your voice when being bombarded by orcs...  
Or maybe 'Lord of the Rings; the REAL story.'  
-It all began when Frodo Baggins met Caisha Sullivan, who had only just arrived in Middle Earth... Did we tell you she was a few crumbs short of a biscuit? Oh! And she had blue hair...'  
OR 'Secrets of an elfs mind...'  
-Lego-Man's POV- Lost my shampoo today! Ohmigod! What will I do! Father will disown me because my hair will become dull and lifeless and I'll be just like everyone else!  
I bet that physco with the blue hair did it...-  
She was chuckling to herself when she realised Legolas was saying something to her, whilst managing to give her a strange look; I _really _hate elves, she thought desperately...  
"So, what is your name? Or will Tithen Vanwa Min suffice?" _HE _was laughing silently! That is so not fair! Right... where was her mascara brush?  
Legolas quickly avoided early death by mascara as Caisha waved it at him, threateningly... He may have been combed to death -hell, who knows?- had not a third pair of hands descend about Caisha's, and pry the mascara brush from her grip... Spinning around angrily, she found herself looking straight into Elrohir's chest... She frowned, and tilted her head back, so she could look up into the Eldorado's face, which was smirking; oh god, she was going to actually kill someone... But Elrohir looked down at her, smirking still, before looking over to Legolas,  
"Her name is Caisha..."  
Caisha cut in, "Yea! Damn right! And if you add Tithin Vanwa Min to it, or 'lady', or 'maiden', or 'child', you are _so _dead..."  
Legolas looked confused,  
"But, Caisha- compared to the lifespans of the elves, you _are _a child..."  
Oh yes, I forgot to say. Caisha managed to pick up one insult from Línarai earlier, thanks to the art of persuasion, and as she glared at Legolas, she uttered it darkly, "Bado, echado veleth orch!" (- Go and... ahem... make love to an orc. -) she spat, before lunging herself at Legolas... The Lego-Man, stunned by the insult, found himself being shoved backwards onto the floor by the momentum of her lunge, sliding across the stones into the Council courtyard, under attack from a rather exuberant teenager, who had pinned her legs either side of his hips and was glaring down at him, seething, holding to the front of his jerkin angrily,  
"What did I say? Huh! What did I _say _about calling me _that!_"  
Legolas, being the elf that he was, wasnt at all bothered by this- it was the insult that stung... After all, he was an elf; they were very sensitive.  
Caisha found herself being dragged off Legolas and held about a foot from the ground; strange. Usually she was the one who punished people like this... Ah well- must be what they call getting a taste of your medicine... She struggled in her holders grip, still glaring at Legolas- that was, until Lord Elrond, who was holding her up, spoke;  
"Lady Caisha, what is the meaning of---gah!"  
The world went insane...

------

"Absolutely not! Elrond! The girl's mad! Valar help us if she joins the Fellowship!"  
Caisha glowered; it was Legolas speaking... Her fingers flexed, invisioning giving him the slap she felt he deserved; well, you know what buddy? I know you needed two months of archery training before you could be Lego-Man, so gneh! Oh... wait... This wasnt _actually _Orlando Bloom was it? Damnit... Oh well... He probably couldnt use the bow properly until he was one hundred and fifty years old or some other equally ridiculous age... She was pleased to see he had a small purple bruise forming about his eye.  
Elrond, who was sporting a cut lip and slightly bruised cheek bone, held up a hand, shaking his head, "Peace, Legolas... She will go with you as far as Lothlórien. There, Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn will remove her from your charge. Surely it is not too much to ask of an elf, ranger, dwarf and wizard to ensure she gets there safely?"  
Borrie and the Hobbits looked thoroughly put out that they hadn't been mentioned, whereas Gandalf, Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas were looking as equally pissed off as Caisha felt... None of them let it be mentioned however; it was only Legolas who was openly defying Elrond's wishes,  
"She is a liability! She cannot fight---" Caisha opened her mouth to object; if she couldnt fight, why was Legolas the one with a bruise? But Legolas was carrying on, having spotted her indignant look from the corner of his eye, "---At least not with bow, sword or magic!"  
"And neither can the Hobbits!" Caisha suddenly snapped, striding forwards to stand besides Aragorn, facing Elrond with her usual insane defiance, "And yet they're going!"  
"Frodo must carry the Ring!" Legolas was frowning now, all effort at keeping calm and collected gone- Caisha tended to bring out the worst in people. "And he will not leave without the others!"  
Frodo raised his hand, "Well, actually---mmf!" Sam looked up innocently, from where his podgy hand had clamped over Frodo's mouth, stilling his masters words, "Heheh... Nothing doing... Please, carry-on..." He dragged Frodo behind Merry and Pippin, and began talking in a hushed voice to him...  
"You see?" Caisha needed no encouragement to continue as she whirled back to face Elrond, "Besides, we wont leave for a few weeks yet. I can always get Elladan or Eldorado---" she hesitated at Elronds confused look, and shrugged, "-Elrohir to give me weapons lessons during that time, so I'm competent enough... Im sure they will, if I ask them nicely."  
Elrond, despite the Caisha-inflicted injuries, smirked in amusement, "Im sure they would... Legolas, dont look like that. Its decided. She goes with you to Lothlórien..." Caisha got the distinct impression that the only reason Elrond was sending her to Lothlórien was to get rid of her- and she would be right. But no matter. She was going with the Fellowship- that was good enough for her to put up with Elrond wanting to get her out of his hair...  
Legolas let out a frustrated growl, staring at Elrond, "She is nothing but a child! She won't survive the journey!"  
Five pairs of hands darted instinctively to hold Caisha back as she struggled to get past Aragorn, to get to Legolas. Elrond put on his Holier-Than-Thou smirk, though the small trickle of blood leaking from the cut in his lip kind of spoilt the effect,  
"I do not believe Caisha is a child..." the hands holding her back went slack as Caisha relaxed, brushing her cloak free of dust she had gathered in the scuffle with Legolas and Elrond, only to notice the elf lord's eyes were watching her. She looked up expectantly, as he carried on talking, "However, if she continues to act the way she does, I may reconsider and just leave her in the wilderness without an escort..." his eyes were boring into hers. She looked back calmly, "Do you understand?"  
She nodded her head in a small bow, "I do, My Lord Elrond... So long as no-one calls me anything patronising, I will be on my best behaviour..." she put on the butter-wouldnt-melt-in-my-mouth look that so often got her out of trouble... None of them believed it for a minute, but anger towards her lessened- it was hard to be pissy with anyone who was giving you the puppy dog eyes... Elrond was still smirking, and returned the small bow of the head,  
"Very well, I am sure they are conditions we can live by..." he shot Legolas a look, pointedly...  
The other members of the Fellowship nodded; they had nothing against the girl. After all, she hadnt attacked _them_... They were just bothered about having an inexperienced girl in the party- but so long as she could weild a blade, they supposed it wouldn't be so bad.  
She was so going to die...  
Her thoughts were punctured by Legolas' angry screech- she turned to look at him in amazement. It was the first time she'd seen an elf completely loose their cool; and it was because of her... She felt a vague sort of grim satisfaction at this realisation, so much so she wasnt stunned like the rest of the party when Legolas, in a bout of fury, dragged his battered bow from off his body- she noticed it was dented from the little wrestle- and snapped it in half, throwing it at Elronds feet... He was fuming, and glared at the elf lord angrily,  
"She is not coming with us!" and he stormed out...  
Elrond only looked mildly surprised, staring at the broken bow at his feet, before his eyes found Caisha's- she was shocked, sure, but she had been half expecting Legolas to snap soon... When she took a grudge against someone, they didnt last long... With a light smile, she turned to face the rest of the shocked Fellowship,  
"Talk about a Royal Hissy fit... Now then, which one of you small people is Frodo?"

**To Be Continued - **Wee... Don't worry everyone, Legolas will be going with the Fellowship, along with Caisha 3  
Well, Im going to go sun myself in Turkey... I might be able to fit an entry in tomorrow morning- depends what time I get up. Its unlikely, so I'll say my farewells now  
**  
Nen vaer a lalaith veren sui i lû tôl a adgevedim!**

(- Sweet water and joyous laughter till we next meet -)  
I know... I dont understand the elves, either Anyhow, adios, mes amigos!  
Oh, and dont forget to reviws p


	5. Of Tractors, Mimic Plays and Fred

**Disclaimer-** -sulks- Dontwanndoitiiiiiit! -is hit by something shaped suspiciously like a little rock- ow... fine! -takes deep breath- dontownanyofLoTRonlyownCayandsomemorecharriesnothingmuchsoeffoff -pants- there! Happy now? No? Well, sod off anyway.

**Notes-** Honeys, Im hooooome! Turkey rocked my furry socks... Methinks I fell in love with a Turkish barman, but methinks Im not sure xD Anyhow, I hope you all missed meh whilst I was sunning myself abroad. Oh yea, my ears popped on the plane, so I nearly killed the person sitting next to me when my sinuses were trying to equalise the pressure- lucky for them the pain was too agonising x3 So, here comes the fourth chapter, though its actually the fifth... Does that make sense? Probably not...  
Anyhow, I only got one vote about the romance xo So it looks like it shall be an Elrohir-mance  
And this isnt going to be as funny... Im rusty and a bit ill after my jolly hollies; dont worry, I'll make sure the next chapter ish better 

**Pronunciation of my characters-  
Caisha- **Cay-sha  
**Ysan- **Ee-san  
**Dyanai- **Di-yan-ey  
**Illyra- **Ill-aye-rar  
**Línarai- **Lee-nar-ey  
**Bregedur- **Bree-ga-door  
**Aerauth- **Ey-er-ow-th

**To my beloved reviewers- **Lets say a nice big Middle-Earth welcome to **MordeMe **and **Saltwater** for reviewing! -attackglompsnugpokeswithsword- xD Im not crazy... Just temporarily insane.  
**  
Crecy- **Yesh... Poor Leggy doesent like Cay that much -sulks- I wonder why?

**MordeMe- **I'm milking the Mary-Sueness for all its worth xD

**ChronicCheddar- **-eyes cupboard suspiciously- I dont want to know about it xD Anyhow, I use feet as well... Obviously, because I have two of them that carry me around... -tumbleweed rolls past- fine... Well, me and Fio could only ever manage about three foot xO!

**xkuroxshinobix- **Dungeons? Naw xD She'd drive her jailers insane within a day... Elrond just wants to get rid of her... Bless his little elvish socks.  
**  
Saltwater- **Yesh indeed I did actually poke someone in the eye with my mascara brush once... I never heard the end of it... o-0 I'm considered deadly with all cosmetics these days...

**GothicShadow- **You're the only one who voted... -sniffle- So, mes amis, the romantic-al interest shall be... -pathetic drum roll- Elrohir! Weeeee... And I dont want to know about the closet xD Take it to your grave... For all our sakes Alrighty, I shall write now...

**-----------**

Chapter Four - Of Tractors, Mimic Plays and Fred

_Understandably, Caisha's mind was preocuppied with home... She thought of her life before this one, and mused over the world she was beginning to think she'd never see again... It was a saturday in the normal world... She'd be planning visiting maybe Heaven and Hell later on that night with Joe and a few of their friends, or trying her luck at bowling with a few selective people... Perhaps even the cinema, if she could get past the number of scallies and moshers who often kicked off outside the place. She'd been caught up in their fights once too often, and got many a bruised eye or rib for her pains... Right now, her most faithful companions Alice and Terri would no doubt be accompanying her into town, hunting for suitable birthday presents...  
Oh god, her birthday! She'd completely forgotten... Time was different in this world; people told the time by the sun and stars, not clocks or watches. Plus the calender was a lot more complicated; all things like Durin's day and such... No simple 'January, February, March, April...' etc and no simple '1, 2, 3...' And so it was only when she'd asked Elrohir how long she'd been with them in the Last Homely House that she'd discovered she'd been there three solid weeks. With a shocking realisation, after she'd somehow worked out the date of the day she'd arrived in Middle-Earth on, then worked out that it was, infact, her birthday tomorrow... She would normally have been planning one of the biggest Outings she could think of; maybe to the Blues, or 42nd Avenue, with a close knit group of friends... Thirty or so should have done it. Caisha was never one to celebrate elaborately.  
Like last year. Her sixteenth birthday... It had been a memorable occasion; she'd taken about ten friends to paintballing and then to Jilly's, or Rock World as it was informally known by all. Aching all over from being pelted with small paint bombs, she discovered that alcohol on ones birthday was a great way to ease through the pain. As a result, she'd ended up dancing ontop of he bar and accepting a rather interesting cone-shaped cigarette from one of her friends. The she'd ended up believing her mobile phone had a tracking device, and chucked it into the Canal on the way home. She'd also been convinced a little old lady pushing a trolley had a machine gun hidden in her bags, and would have rugby-tackled the old woman to prove herself right if Joe and Sam had not pinned her to the ground. But she couldn't do any of that here here... Oh no... She doubted elves knew what a spliff **was**.  
And instead of her fantastic party? She was stuck in Rivendell, spending her days learning how to spar with sword and shoot with a bow; both of which she was amazingly lame at. She was tutored in these and unarmed combat by either Elrohir or Elladan; sometimes both. On those occasions, she was royally pounded. At times, Boromir or Aragorn would stop in the courtyard she was training in, to watch and make quiet observations or add teaching of their own. Most of the time she'd get nervous with her audience, and when flustered she made a lot of mistakes; pulling the bow back with her thumb instead of her index and middle finger, for example, or pulling the string so taunt that the arrow dropped to the ground. With the sword she was sorely in danger of loosing a head or limb, and when she compared herself to her elven tutors, she discovered she could parry perhaps one or two blows before finding two wooden sparring sword points inches from her throat- needless to say that, the more she practiced, the more useless and self-conscious she felt. She was clumsy and stiff, no way near as loose limbed and elegant as Elrohir and Elladan seemed with their blades... Because of this, the practice had inceased during the days leading towards the Fellowships departure, and it is in her training courtyard she can be found now, sparring with one of the elven twins, having a rather... interesting conversation..._

------__

"Ask me if I drive a tractor."  
"..."  
"El?"  
"What is this... 'tractor', of which you speak?"  
"Oh. It's like the big squashed frame of a car with big wheels and half the horse power. Everyone hates them."  
"..."  
"Elly?"  
"Elly? And what is this... 'car', of which you speak?"  
"Just ask me the damn question, Elly!"  
"Very well... Do you drive a tractor?"  
"No!"  
There was a long silence, broken only by the clack of their wooden sparring swords, and then; "I dont understand."

"Really?"  
"No..."  
"Oh... well, its a joke."  
"Ahh... Where's the humour?"  
"Well, the point is that it's so lame it's funny in not being funny..."  
There was an even longer pause, "..."  
"Elly?"  
"I dont get it."  
"Right... Well, y'see-- ow!" there was a muffled stream of curses as Caisha dropped to her knees, having recieved a particularly nasty whack to the collarbone.  
"You let your guard down." There was a hint of concern in Elrohir's face and voice as he helped her to her feet; she glared at him, rubbing the bone of her neck which she knew was already beginning to bruise.  
"Oh, sorry..." she growled sarcastically, pulling down the collar of her fighting tunic and massaging the throbbing stretch of skin. Elrohir sighed, tucking the wooden sword into a harness-type loop in his belt,  
"You must be more aware, Caisha. Orcs and Goblins do not forgive mistakes." His hand gently rested on hers for a moment as it continued to worry the painful collar of her body, before prying it away and applying his own cool, if calloused, fingers against the bruised skin... The feel of it shocked her and she almost moved away, but it was difficult to resist the gentleness of his soothing hand; not to mention the concern that had alighted on his face...  
It was strange how she'd never noticed it before, but the light in his eyes was not cast from any outside illumination. Instead, the fathomless depths seemed instead to be lit up from inside, with some inner flame. It was like looking into his soul; it unnerved her, more than she felt it should of done, but didnt move from his touch- her shoulder ached too much. As his digits slowly coursed across the unhappy flesh, she felt the muscle settle a bit under his practised touch, and the throbbing eased away a tad, though a dull ache remained and she found it difficult to lift her left arm past shoulder-height; no doubt it was still complaining about being broken.  
She felt his hand linger against the skin for perhaps a second too long, and as she looked up unto those light grey eyes, she was surprised to see confusion etched in the fire of his soul... But then his hand was drawn away from her collarbone, and his eyes resumed their normal mischevious brightness, to such an extent she wondered whether she'd imagined the look she'd seen in his face a moment past. She bit her bottom lip gently, as she always did when thoughtful or nervous, and was about to say something, when he smoothly cut across her, seeming oblivious to what had just happened, though she knew by some inner instinct he was not,  
"I think thats enough practice today." -she couldnt have agreed more- "You're getting better, slowly. Your stance is alright, and you're parrying the hits better. You just need to work on your defence. You can hit well enough, just make sure you dont fall over with the momentum." she flushed a bit here; she'd fallen several times, following the power she'd put into a sword swing. The most embarrasing occasion was when she knocked over several spectators who had stopped to watch the spar; the ensuing chaos meant she'd become even more unpopular with the elves. Elrohir and Elladan, who'd been teaching her together, had just laughed, out-loud for a change... Caisha wanted to sink into the earth, especially when Legolas, who heard about the event, had re-enacted the entire thing at the dinner that following evening...  
That had been an interesting dinner; following Legolas' tantrum, and Caisha's realisation of which of the small people was Frodo, the Fellowship had dined with the rest of the Last Homely House; often, Caisha found herself seated between Elrohir and Elladan, or Elrohir and Boromir, and whiled away the time happily listening to the adventures of the two. She was particularly enthralled with Elrohir account of when he and Elladan rode to rescue their mother from orc dens when she'd been captured in the Redhorn Pass, after visiting her own mother Galadriel in Lórien. It was a fantastic journey, but by the time the twins had reached their mother, she had recieved a poisonous wound and, although Elrond healed her, she had sailed away to the West. When Elrohir had told her all this over one dinner, quietly and without his usual spark of mischevious good nature, she'd felt the bitterness in his voice and face that fuelled the twin's hate towards orcs, and the reason they often rode against them in Northern Dúnedain. She'd rested her hand on his own rough one sympathetically, and he'd given her the same confused look she'd seen just now... Something in his face made her wonder...  
But no matter... The interesting dinner I began speaking of was a few nights ago, following Caisha's mishap with her elven audience. She'd found that Aragorn, for some reason, had taken her usual place between Elrohir and Elladan, and cast her eyes around their usual table for a reason why; it was simple. Legolas had taken Aragorns space between Arwen and Elrond, talking and smiling along in elvish with the two half-elvens. He caught her gaze and returned it calmly, with a hint of a smirk lingering about his lips... She'd scowled at him, and sat between Gimli and Sam; she immediately wished she hadn't. Gimli smelt worse than B.O Beth in school, who Caisha'd had to sit next to after Games and P.E; the girl had reeked. Caisha had, on more than one occasion, seriously contemplated knocking her out with a bag of Dove deodorant; either that or physically forcing her into a bath... But the dwarf besides her was about three times worse, and caused her to actually recoil, until she'd almost been sat on Sam's lap- the little hobbit didn't seem at all bothered, and began speaking to her of how much he'd like to grow some parsley in his garden, for a change.  
And so, whilst Caisha had been hap-hazardly trying to eat whilst breathing through her mouth, listening quietly to the conversation buzz around her and thinking of her home back in the 'real' world, she noticed Legolas stand up. She was expecting him to make a speech of some sort, and so, out of manners rather than respect, she lowered her fork and watched the elven Prince carefully; to her surprise, and everyone elses, he called up a few other elves from the crowd of eating folk, and arranged them in a gaggle besides him, and one infront of him; the scene looked suspiciously familiar... The rest of the Fellowship, and Rivendell's occupants, seemed content to watch whatever entertainment the Mirkwood Prince had thought up, though Elrohir and Elladan exchanged a similar look with her; they all knew something was going on... And it most certainly was; Legolas declared that he was going to do a 'Mimic Show' and Caisha felt her stomach sink as far as her boots- the memory of the mornings training session was still fresh, and near enough to whole of the House had heard about it...  
What happened next horrified her; she'd always presumed Legolas was the nice one. The happy, friendly, blonde, dwarf-friend elf... But no. Ever since Elrond had forced her onto the Fellowship, Legolas had regarded her with the disdain she would have reserved only for next door neighbours children... The silence that had settled with the awkwardness about the Hall reminded her eerily of the time she'd gotten herself trapped in the cellar and had a very long argumentative fight with the door before realising she had been trying to open it the wrong way. Luckily, no-one had been there to witness that scene; but here, her foolishness would be present to the whole elven community of Rivendell... She had realised what Legolas was doing; trying to prove how incompetent a female she was, how it was a danger to take her with them on the Fellowship's quest, how much a girl didn't belong holding a weapon... She'd have liked to see him come up against her friend Antonia when she was having a bad day and was armed with a pair of tweezers; she'd quickly change his mind. Antonia absolutely despised Orlando Bloom, to the depths of her soul; she was more of a Johnny Depp fan.  
Thinking of Anthonia had made her stomach twist with homesickness; she wanted to be back in her little house in England, bullying her sister for her Lord of the Rings obsession, plotting the murder of her twin brothers and generally just bossing about the rest of her siblings. Most of all she wanted to feel the comfort of her mothers hugs, and her fathers voice- and Joe. Joe, whom she realised she missed the most. He had always been there, since they were children- most thought him a bad influence on her, but she adored him for it... They'd been together for longer than anyone could remember; other couples came and went, but Joe and Caisha had an immortal relationship. Maybe because neither regarded the other as their 'Partner', rather as a rather intimate friend... The thoughts of home, however, had been thrown aside when Legolas had begun to re-enact, perfectly, of course, the events of the morning's training session.  
She had set her jaw in a hard, determined line, and managed to sit through the most of it. When she dragged her eyes to look over at Elrohir and Elladan, she noticed that the two twins looked as pissy as she, and Elrohir was clutching his fork so hard she suspected he'd bent the metal... She had thought she'd been doing quite well, but that was only up until the laughter. When Legolas, who was enacting herself, fell sideways with his little wooden prop sword, into the group of elves and knocking them down, laughter shook the Halls of Fire. Even Gimli was chuckling away to himself; she contemplated cutting off one of his plaits and gagging him with it, but decided against it; God alone knew what inhabited his hair, and God alone could keep the information to himself.  
That had been the most she could take, then- the shame got too much for her. She wanted the ground to swallow her up again and, with a strangled cry that caused most of the laughing elves to look at her, she pushed herself off from the bench she'd been sat on and hurried out of the Hall. Her exit, however, was interrupted by a servant, carrying a tray covered in lambas bread rolls, who didn't have the same sense of dramatic finess she did and who blocked her leave at the doorway. The result was hardly the elegant exit she'd been planning and she fled the Halls after picking herself up from where she and the servant had fallen, covered in lambas bread, as the laughter of the elves chased her. She was aware of shouting behind her, though it wasnt directed at her and, even if it had, it wouldnt have stopped her fleeing...

------

She realised she'd been lost in her thoughts again; she did that a lot, these days. She felt distant, like this world was a very surreal dream that didnt matter, though she knew, deep down, that it wasnt. In a way, this whole Rivendell set up was a link to her life- her _real _life, the one she'd been quite happy in, getting pissed every other weekend, skipping lessons, forgetting homework, brawling, attacking anyone who enoucraged her sisters addiction to FanFiction... Christ, she wanted Illyra to have a _real _life; and she wanted her own back. She didnt want to be stood there, staring like a gormless fool at Elrohir whilst her thoughts lead her mind elsewhere, dressed in just a plain, dirtied cream tunic covered by her Nirvana tee-shirt and brown hose, of which the points were tied wrong and meant if she walked in a certain fashion, she fell over, with the creamy silver cloak strewn carefully over a wall nearby... It took a while for her to realise the elven twin was speaking...  
"...again, Caisha?"  
She blinked at him, glancing from where she'd been staring at the wooden sword clutched in her inexpert hand to his face, which was looking amused. She scowled,  
"What?"  
"I said, 'what are you thinking of again, Caisha?'"  
"Again?"  
"Yes. You daydream a lot lately."  
She paused- did she? She didnt think anyone noticed... "Home." she replied, simply.  
Elrohir was silent for longer; he sat himself on the stone wall running around the courtyard, staring at the beddragled tree that stood in the center, trying desperately to smarten up and look more tree-like. Really, it was an overgrown sapling, or stringy brush... Elrond's son then spoke again, not looking at him, but at the wanna-be tree,  
"Where is your home?"  
"In general or right now?"  
"I dont understand..."  
"Well, right now, I dont know where my home is. But in general its England."  
Elrohir sent her a confused look; "England?"  
Oh, right. Middle-Earth. "Uhm... across the sea...?"  
"Oh..." he seemed content at that, but then; "Why did you leave?"  
She blinked, but then let a small smirk tug on her lips, "Oh, well, I was often beaten, raped, given endless chores and lived in the attic, keeping company for the moth-eaten dust sheets that my mother made me lick clean. Everyday. I lived on bread on water, with only the rats for company and mountains of homework to complete everynight... Not to mention my evil stepsisters made me look after them and stole my glass slipper---" The astonished and appalled look on Elrohir's face caused her to trail off, trying desperately to surpress her laughter.  
The elven twin opened and closed his mouth once or twice, which Caisha thought made him look like a rather impressive goldfish, before speaking, "By the Valar..."  
She couldn't help it; she burst out laughing, and had to wait a while before the raking sobs of mirth subsided. She looked up, realising Elrohir was still looking at her; only he was confused and, frankly, looked quite scared at this point... Managing to get her laughter under control, she shook her head, grinning, "No, I'm joking... Sorry, it just seemed the right sort of Mary-Sue response I should give."  
"Mary-Sue?"  
"Y'know, all perfect girls. Blonde hair, violet eyes, experts with swords, bows and magic; always falls in love with one of the characters in a story, and saves near enough everyones lives more than once. Perfect body as well; all thin like, with big tits and wide hips. Always popular, always going out with the hottest guy in school, has the most friends, always has a tragic past, and turn out to be a half-elf..." she felt the tips of her ears selfconsciously- they stayed reassurringly smooth and round. Not the slightest hint of a point.  
Elrohirs eyes widened, "That sounds... demonic."  
Caisha chuckled, "Yea, I suppose it is. Same with Gary-Sues."  
There was a long silence, and then Elrohir cautiously said; "But you're not a Mary Sue..."  
"_I _know that, and _you _know that, but sometimes I get the feeling people are watching me..." she glanced around suspiciously, "and _they _might not know that. Its just it all seems so Mary-Sueish; falling into Middle Earth, meeting Frodo and the Fellowship... And you know what would just kill me the most? If someone like Legolas fell in love with me. That'd be the ultimate cliche _ever._" she shook her head with a grim humour,_ "_I just want to go home."  
"Dont you like it here?" she caught the flicker of hurt that passed over his face, and felt even more uncomfortable,  
"Well, I do... But, you were born into this. You don't know anything else but this life... Me? I was no more born to weild a sword than write that essay due in for Mr Silkamon next week... I dont belong here. Its not my life. And I'm screwing up history no end by simply being here."  
Elrohir frowned, "But, you are here... Thats not your fault."  
"No, its not. But that doesent mean I'm not responsible for what I do here- with Elrond sending me with the Fellowship, we've already got Ten Walkers against Nine Riders. The ratio that bases the book is dead and rotting. There _is_ no Tenth Walker. I shouldn't be here." Where did all that come from? Maybe Illyra had played the film one too many times... She seemed to be recalling things from it that she never even knew existed...  
"Well, Lady Galadriel can help you sort this out..."  
"I doubt it."  
"And besides- now you're here, would you be able to just watch the Fellowship go off?"  
"I suppose not... Why arent you coming?"  
"I'm needed here."  
"Oh..." Caisha trailed off, sliding the practice sword into her own belt, staring at him for a moment, before shaking her head. She retrieved the beautiful elven cloak from its perch on the wall, and slung it about her body- it was slightly grubby from its rest on the dusty stone, but she brushed off the worst of the damage and pulled the hood up over her hair- it was beginning to infuriate her. Everyday the blueness got lighter, as though the black dye she'd put over the top was being removed every time she washed her hair... She hoped that wasnt the case; facing down Sauron with bright bubblegum blue hair was not quiet the orc-kicking ass style she had in mind.  
Elrohir watched her for a moment, his face expressionless; but then again, which elf's wasnt? Then he stood up, looking at her with the same amused mischeif in his face,  
"Now thats the training done with... Would you like to visit the stables, Caisha?"  
"Stables?" she brightened up immediately, "Really?"  
"Yes."  
"Hell yeah! Come on then, captaino Eldorado! Lead the way!"  
He gave her a 'look' and she marvelled at the sceptisism maintained in it- it was worthy of her Grade B label, she decided.  
"Very well, on one condition."  
"Whats that then, capitano Eldorado?"  
"You dont call me Eldorado..."  
"Really?" she looked at him, "Fine. Fair enough, capitano."  
"Or Capitano..."  
"Righteo, General."  
"Or General."  
"If you say so, Sergeant."  
"Or Sergeant."  
"As you wish, sir."  
"Caisha?"  
"Yes, sir?"  
"Shut up."  
"Very good, sir."  
He gave her another Grade B 'look'- she was impressed. She returned it with one of her own, holding his gaze- but she'd had years of practice glaring at the children from next door. He broke the gaze first and looked around. She grinned secretively,  
"Lead the way then, sir."  
He sighed, shaking his head at her before turning, leading the way out of the courtyard... After a while of walking side-by-side in steady silence, Caisha recieving the usual strange looks for her Nirvana tee shirt, she broke the comfortable quiet,  
"One thing, sir?"  
Another sigh- "What is it?"  
"Can I have my mascara back?"  
A long pause- "No."  
"Oh."

------

She was in love. Hopelessly, definately, solidly, in love.  
She gazed at the object of her heart's desire in awed silence, holding their gaze steadily, reaching out a hand to gently brush her fingers against their silken brown hair, following the faint trail of white hair that interrupted the pattern of their head...  
Her hand suddenly snapped back, quicker than the jaws of the fine desterier steed she'd been stroking. His blunt teeth closed on thin air and, thwarted, he flattened his ears back and dragged his head up, glaring at her with disdain. She returned his look calmly, eyebrow raised,  
"I know your tricks. Dont even think you can outsmart me."  
The horse snorted, as though to express his disbelief. She just held the big brown gaze of the massive equine, steadily, like she had done with so many troublesome horses at Sparrows Creek- that was the stables where she rode every week. She didn't own her own horse, but she had been going to Sparrows Creek for so long and helping them every sunday all day long, as well as in the evenings after school some days, that she just as well owned the horses there. There was no particular magic to mastering a horse; you just had to show them who was boss...  
She'd spent some time with Daniel, the stables trainer, and discovered all she needed to about horses- show them who was superior and you were halfway there... She didnt approve with Daniel using the whip whilst lungeing a horse, or the pressure halter, but she had to admit it was effective; the most aggresive horse was submissive by the time Daniel had worked them... Caisha, however, under estimated the horses of the elves; they were regal creatures, answering only to elven kins and not silly mortal girls... The massive liver chestnut desterier snapped at her again, and she narrowly avoided loosing a few fingers by pure instinct as she yanked her hand back from leaning on the stable door,  
"Tetchy horse..." she muttered, still holding the horses gaze...  
Leaning on the stall door of his own iron grey horse, who Caisha had learned was called Bregedur, meaning 'Wildfire', was Elrohir, watching with the usual signs of amusement,  
"That there is Aerauth- means Holy War."  
The liver chestnut beast snorted his agreement, stamping his hooves against the stone flooring of his stable, as though to emphasise the point. Elrohir just shook his head, with a small smile,  
"He belongs to Elladan, though he doesent ride him anymore. Says that he's too mean spirited for a breeze- only rides him to battle."  
Caisha gave a small whistle of knowing appretiation; so that accounted for the small scars on the horses muzzle and neck, as far as she could see... It would be almost impossible to control the massive horse on a normal hack anyway; he looked impatient, and no doubt fought bit and rein all the way. He also looked incredibly stubborn, the sort of horse who just looked at you and laughed in a horsey way. Living with the elves obviously affected him deeply; he carried the same Holier-than-Thou air which all freaky, pointy-eared folk around here treated her with. Except Elladan and Elrohir; they were different. They treated her like one of them, something she relished in. The two twins reminded her of Coal and Ryan, and soothed some of the homesickness in her heart...  
"Only in battle?" she heard herself asking, looking over at Elrohir, evading Aerauth's reprimanding teeth yet again as he lashed out at her bruised collarbone- she tripped over the tilting saddle stand, complete with high-crouped and high-pomelled leather saddle, that was screwed tightly to the wooden wall of the stable, and managed to steady herself from falling by grabbing hold of the edge of Bregedur's stall door, besides Elrohir... He smiled down at her, cheekily,  
"Yes. Aerauth is a bit... private. We tend to keep him seperate, even when we're off to battle. He likes his solitude..."  
"I think I'll call him Fred- its easier." she muttered to herself, steadying herself securely on Bregedur's stable door. Yes, Fred was easier than whatever name Elladan had given the horse- Elrohir was doing that thing where he laughed silently, whilst looking sympathic and serious. Elves were so goddamn good at mastering their emotions- she envied them. He was speaking again, and she tuned into Middle Earth FM to listen properly,  
"...for a ride?"  
She blinked, and, after he realised she had once again not been paying attention, repeated himself,  
"I said, would you like to take him for a ride? I'll come with you, on Bregedur... I think it will do you some good."  
She stared at him, "But... you said... He was only ridden in battle?"  
"Yes, but..." Elrohir's grey eyes found the liver chestnut desterier, who looked back sceptically, "He only gets exercise when he's let into the corral... He needs to be ridden- he's getting fat... And lazy."   
"Uhm... but..." she blinked again, staring from Aerauth's defiant face to Elrohir's amused one, and scowled, "He'll kill me." she muttered... She wasnt afraid of horses, but there was something lurking in that desterier's eyes that meant he was a force to be reckoned with. She really didnt want to reckon with it...

Her protests hadn't worked. Elrohir had come with her to tack up, keeping the large steed from biting her as she did up his double girth -he'd taken a breathful of air that meant the girth wouldn't reach around him until she'd kneed him in the stomach, making him blow it out- and sorted out the running martingale-. The bridle was the worst part. She did it confidently, expertly, as she always did, but Fred was one of the horses that gritted his teeth against the metal S-ended bit, meaning she had to force her finger between the soft flesh of his lips and pry his mouth open to insert the bridle bit. She was very close to loosing her fingers, at that point.  
So here she was, out in the stable courtyard, holding contact against the horses mouth with the double reins that Fred was often ridden with, watching Elrohir swing himself into the similar tilting saddle he'd tacked Bregedur up with... He moved with the confident grace and poise all elves bore so easily- he looked fantastic on the iron grey steed's back, and though he was dressed in a rough tunic, shirt and hose, she felt he looked regal enough to be riding to battle... She gently reined Fred's head in a bit more from where he'd been trying to bite Bregedur's shoulder, and looked at him expectantly- she was fully aware that she was not wearing a helmet, whilst riding a rather wild, ill-tempered war charger...  
She was going to die.  
"So, nothing big today, yea? Just trotting... Maybe a canter?" she asked Elrohir hopefully; the elven twin just grinned at her in that mischevious way, and made a non-commitmal shrug... She swore- he was probably conspiring with Legolas to get her killed... Yes, she could see it now- 'well, lord elrond, she cant go now. see, shes dead. couldn't hold on to the horse properly.' Very subtle. Very subtle, indeed...  
"Fred..." she addressed the horse, who pinned an ear back disgustedly in response, "Can you please be nice? Pretty please? With carrots on top?"  
She felt that this horse should not be subject to the usual dominant way in which she rode her horses, which was to listen to whilst commanding the horse- he'd probably chuck her if she tried that. But then again, he just snorted in what could be described as a typical horsey way of laughing, and she groaned inwardly; it seemed a lot of people wanted her dead. He'd chuck her anyway, at this rate... Elrohir just smirked over at her, urging Bregedur into a brisk trot, which Fred picked up on immediately, straining against the bit and rein eagerly, as Caisha'd suspected he'd do.  
The ride was pleasant for the most part; Elrohir lead her on a winding trail through the forest boredering the Last Homely House, and she made sure Fred stayed close to him; she didn't fancy getting lost in there... Only, it seemed Fred did... He deliberately slowed down when they were about in the middle of the forest, so that Elrohir and Bregedur were a way up, and then yanked his head forward so suddenly the reins slid through her fingers, the coarse leather biting into the skin of her hands as it drove past- she tried desperately to regain control, but Fred was already picking up into a canter, carrying her to the right of the bewildering Elrohir and onto an invisible trail through the trees- she suspected Fred knew where he was going anyway, but she most definately did not, and could only continue to fight for control from the stubborn horse whilst trying to settle into the bumpy gait of the big horses canter and quell her rising panic. She heard Elrohir calling behind her, but couldnt hear exactly what and, even if she could, what the hell would she say? 'Its okay, I'm over here?' Instead, she just let out a rather embarrasing cry of;  
"Elly, help me!"  
And where was here? She made the idiotic mistake of twisting in the saddle, to try and see where Elrohir and Bregedur were in addition to herself; at that point, Fred broke into a full-on charge, bypassing gallop all together. Only the high-backed coup of the saddle prevented her falling from the massive steeds back as she was thrown back with the momentum. Letting out a strangled cry, she faced front again and managed to drag Aerauth's head back up with the reins, so that she could regain some control. Or maybe he let her, considering he probably knew what was coming next- a tree attacked, sending its thick branches down to meet her full on race through the forest. It hit with a vengeance.  
The world went black. But just before she passed out, she heard the worrying sound of approaching feet; lots of feet. On the ground. Growing steadily louder. And her last thoughts were, simply; oh, fuck.

**To Be Continued- **I'm sorry it took so long, and its so... crappy o-0 I kinda wanted to set the bases of the romance in this chapter, so I dont think its that funny... Sorry again xO


	6. Of the OotS, Human Limpets and Birthdays

**Disclaimer-** -mutters- dont own any LotR characters- only own the Order of the Sue, Cay and a few more

**Notes-** I made up the Order of the Sue. Anybody is entitled to use them if you want, dont bother asking- just say where you got them from Im sorry its taking me a while to update- my muse has gone walkies and I'm still feeling ill.

**Pronunciation of my characters-  
Caisha- **Cay-sha  
**Ysan- **Ee-san  
**Dyanai- **Di-yan-ey  
**Illyra- **Ill-aye-rar  
**Línarai- **Lee-nar-ey  
**Bregedur- **Bree-ga-door  
**Aerauth- **Ey-er-ow-th

**To my beloved reviewers- **I luff you all .  
**  
Crecy- **Very mean horse Caisha will meet her worst enemies in this chapter. Bless.

**ChronicCheddar- **Well, I always see Legolas as the nice one, and Boromir all mean- I decided to be different xD I think Caisha just has that effect on them. And Fred is based on this horse called Dominoe at my stables- that horse is evil -shifty eyes-

**xkuroxshinobix- **Nupe Its her birthday today! -does a dance- happy birthday to Caisha xD Yay

**GothicShadow- **That sucks... And I like Elrohir as the romance And I'll see you when ye get back.

**-----------**

Chapter Five - Of the Order of the Sue, Human Limpets and Birthdays

Elrohir stood in the centre of a high-roofed chamber, his troubled grey eyes fixed solidly on the figure of Elrond sat before him. He had not had time to change out of his attire since his hunt in the forest, and he was still dressed in the plain, dark green high-necked tunic and hose, black boots scuffed and muddy from hours of endless searching. He had a few bits of leaf and twigs sticking out of the dark colour of his hair, disrupting his appearance entirely- a few snags in his tunic had become rips where he'd caught them on brambles, and there was a small cut in the side of his cheek, where a willow branch had hit him with a vengeance... Strangely, there was a mark of lipstick on his neck, in the shape of lips, which he'd tried to scrub off with his hand, to no avail- all he'd done was smudge the red mark across his neck, making him look like he had some sort of strangely shaped rash. In his hand, he held a small pink ribbon, holding it out from him as though it might contain some contagious disease. It had a heart on the end... He looked dishevelled and so worried he was in danger of becoming a very worried person. Elrond looked as equally troubled, resting his chin on his hand as he surveyed the twin,  
"You're sure?"  
"Unmistakable, my lord. I found this, at the scene." he let the ribbon fall to the floor. Elrond looked at it, and swallowed, pushing himself further into his seat;  
"Theres no way you could be wrong?"  
"I saw them myself... They nearly got me." he pointed to the lipstick mark on his neck... Elrond surveyed it as though it was the mark of death,  
"I see... Thank the Valar you escaped... Where abouts?"  
"Just on the edge of Rivendell, in the forest. They must have heard Legolas, Boromir and Aragorn are here."  
"I feared as much- I had hoped that the Fellowship would be gone before the Order found out..."  
"We'll need more reinforcements to guard the Prince, Boromir and Aragorn." Elrond looked tired and nervous as he bit on his bottom lip...  
"What about Caisha?"  
"What about her?"  
"You cant just leave her with them!"  
Elrond surveyed Elrohir sceptically,  
"Why not?"  
"Well, because... You know what the Order's like!"  
"Yes." Elrond physically shuddered, biting on his lip so hard that he drew blood, "But we cannot risk the resources- the Order's lair is far from here, and we need all the men we have to protect Legolas and Aragorn from them, if they choose to return."  
"So you're just going to leave her in their hands?"  
"What would you have me do? Any male who sets foot near the Order is risking death."  
"But---"  
"That is my final word. At least the place shall be a lot quieter with her gone."  
Elrohir stared, in shock and horror, "You dont mean that, surely?"  
Elrond sighed, "I suppose not. But it's too risky to even attempt to rescue her."  
"Then I'll go myself."  
"You'll do no such thing, Elrohir."  
Elrohir narrowed his eyes, "Just try and stop me." he turned on his heel, striding dramatically out the room, shedding bits of leaves as he did so.**  
**_  
_------__

Caisha's head was whirring- even without touching it, she could feel the lump that had manifested itself on her forehead... She gave a small groan, trying to blink away the darkness- only to realise that she was, in fact, blindfolded. Peachy... She was more and more aware, as her head cleared itself, that she was sitting on something suspiciously comfy- it _felt _furry... She swallowed, biting on her bottom lip, as voices filtered themselves into her head. There were some sickly sweet voices floating towards her, and some that sounded like crystal water running in a fountain, joined with what sounded like _S Club 7- _some were even singing alongCaisha swore- she was in the middle of _Pop Idol _all over again... Eventually, the voices became more and more clear- she could hear ones close nearby, talking quietly over the track of _Bring It All Back._  
"...why we had to take her." one voice was hissing- the malice turned the pretty tones of love and happines in their voice ugly.  
"Dont you? Then you cant see further than your nose." a second voice whispered calmly, sounding like stars dancing with rainbows... Caisha thought she was going to be sick.  
"Its a very pretty nose, though." a third voice joined in, dancing like the dewdrops of heaven on the flowers of paradise. Caisha felt woozy again, trying to resist the sickening power of the voices.  
"Thank you- for £3000, I should hope so." hissed love-and-happiness  
"I dont understand why we did that to her hair, though." this was a fourth speaker, whose voice was like beauty and light.  
"I dont like the colour blue." this was stars-dancing-with-rainbows now, who was clearly some sort of leader.  
"But, why did you---" beauty-and-light started, only to be cut off.  
"When do I get to see Leggy?" this was a fifth voice. This girl had the voice of a five year old; soft and childish, filled with delight... Caisha wondered whether the five year old wanted it back.  
"Sssh... She's awake." came the voice of dewdrops-of-heaven-on-paradise-flowers...  
Caisha groaned as she felt a very pointy-ended shoe kick her side,  
"Are you awake?" this was stars-dancing-with-rainbows again.  
"I wish I wasnt." Caisha muttered- there was a collective gasp from one of the assembled, and a voice like clear summer water exclaimed,  
"She has no sweet voice! DEMON!" but then there was a sound like a slap, and the voice of clear-summer-water shut up.  
"Dont be stupid-" stars-dancing-with-rainbows again "-She's not a demon. Just misguided."  
Caisha felt the blindfold knot being tugged at, and blinked to clear her vision once the material had shifted from her eyes- then immediately wished she hadnt... She was in a large cave, which had somehow been transformed into a make-shift room. It had clearly been furnished to seem 'homely'- though homely to who, Caisha had no idea. Flower-shaped tables and chairs littered the space inside, heart-shaped lanterns illuminated the spaces of the cave-room in a pleasant glow, and mirrors were nailed up to every space along the walls, alongside photographs of sunrises, rainbows and anything that radiated calm, loving serenity... But that wasnt the scariest thing- everything that filled the cave was pink and... and...  
"LACY!" she actually screamed the word, staring around her wildly. It was true; any surface that could be covered had, indeed, been swathed by lace doileys and cloth... Even the cushion she was sat on, made of pink fur, was trimmed in white lace. She quickly rolled sideways, unable to do any other movement considering she had her hands and feet bound together by -yes, you guessed it- pink lace strands which, whilst they may look fragile, were amazingly strong...  
"Yes. Lacy." stars-dancing-with-rainbows moved to stand infront of her- Caisha reluctantly pulled her eyes off the horrific to scene to look at her captor, and swallowed. Stars-dancing-with-rainbows was about five foot seven or eight, though she looked a lot taller as Caisha looked up at her suspiciously- she didnt look _right_. She had perfectly straight, long blonde hair that fell to her waist, shimmering in the light spilled from the lanterns as she moved her head... Two bright blue eyes, framed by long, lucious lashes, watched Caisha with scrutiny, as a delicate nose scrunched slightly with despair. Her full lips tugged into a dangerous smirk as elegant fingers brushed hair back from her perfectly tanned skin. She had an hour-glass like body, which Caisha would have envied if the end result didnt make the girl look like a warped barbie doll... She was wearing a white boob tube -Caisha was positive she was wearing a strapless wonderbra, beneath it- and low-rise jeans, showing off the top of her tanned hips. She had a peirced belly-button, the silver bar showing up well against the golden colour of her skin... There was a three foot long broad sword hanging from the girls belt, though she looked like she could barely lift it, and a yew longbow strapped to her back, alongside a quiver of white-feathered arrows... Oh sweet god in Heaven, she'd been kidnapped by Mary-Sue's...  
Stars-dancing-with-rainbows cleared her throat and spoke her beautiful voice again- the sound made Caisha want to crawl under a rock and die, "My name is Britney-" gee, who'd have figured? "-and I'm the Leader of the Order of the Sue..."  
Caisha winced as she propped herself up against the wall, dying to rub her aching head, "Order of the Sue? Wassat then?"  
Britney wrinkled her nose again prettily, at Caisha ignorance, less-than-pretty voice and lack of manners, "Every girl who falls into Middle-Earth is immediately a Mary-Sue- it's the law."  
Caisha blinked- so, all these girls had fallen into Middle-Earth before her? Why hadn't anyone told her? Here she was thinking she was the only one... And--- hey, she wasnt a Mary-Sue! At least, she damn well hoped she wasnt...  
Britney seemed to know what she was thinking, "Have you ever heard the idea that there are millions of worlds, inside one world? That everytime you're presented with a possibility, like which road to take, another world plays out the possibilities that you didnt take, and what would have happened if you did?"  
Caisha nodded; who hadn't? She'd had to write an essay on the possibilities of worlds within worlds for one of her teachers... Britney waved a neatly tanned arm- Caisha wondered whether she used a sunbed or lived in somewhere like Spain, "There. I just brushed ten million other worlds... Well, you see, life if Middle-Earth is like that, world within world; every now and again, some girl falls through into this world from their own- and, well, Middle-Earth wouldnt be able to contain us all, would it? So each girl who falls in has their own world, where they affect everything- you have yours, I have mine, and these have theirs. Somewhere, there is a Middle-Earth without any girl falling in at all, one with every Sue in, and one somewhere where S Club 7 have fallen in." There was a collective sigh of admiration from the collected Sues, and a shudder from Caisha... Britney, pretending not to notice, carried on, "But I managed to find a way through to this world, where all the Sue's roamed free- and I brought them here, to the Sue Lair---" she was cut off here by dewdrops-of-heaven-on-paradise-flowers;  
"We call it the Pink Paradise!"  
Caisha smiled weakly, "Really?"  
Britney glared at at dewdrops-of-heaven-on-paradise-flowers, "Yes, _thank you_, Christine." Christine glowered, but shut up as Britney turned back to Caisha, "As I was saying, I brought them here, to the Pink Paradise-" Britney pulled a face, "-and took them under my wing, guiding them in the true way of the Mary-Sue, so that when they return to their own Middle-Earth worlds, they can be all the better for it!"  
Caisha shrugged, though it was painful to do so with arms tied behind her back, "Thats wonderful but, first, wheres my world, second, how long have I been here, and third, _why_ am I here?"  
Britney sat back in something Caisha hadnt noticed before- the other Sues had been blocking it from view. Now, they shifted aside and revealled a pink throne, copped with little gold lace crown designs all along the cushion. Britney steepled her fingers as she sat, resting her chin on her interlocked hands and surveyed Caisha through her neat blonde fringe,  
"You have been here roughly three or four hours. I dont know where your actual world is- I can only navigate through Middle-Earth. The world in where _you_ affect everything, however, is well-known to me. We've been hunting for you for some time."  
Caisha frowned all the more, and repeated herself, "Why?"  
"Because you are in violation of the Mary-Sue Code-" Caisha was astounded. These creatures had _codes_! "-and we-" Britney waved a hand at the manically grinning Sue's, "-are here to help you correct your ways."  
Caisha tried to press herself into the wall, though the stone remained stubbornly solid- she didnt like the way things were going... Biding for time, she coughed to regain the Sues attention; at Britney's words, they'd all broken out into excited mutterings, "Uh... How have I broken the Mary-Sue code?"  
Britney sighed, settling herself back against the soft, fluffy cushion of her throne, "Where do we start?" she surveyed Caisha with a disapproving gaze, "Firstly, upon arriving in Middle-Earth, you were immediately classed as a Sue- and yet you showed me you clearly are not as perfect as us." she leaned her head back off her steepled fingers- Sues were pulling flower-shaped chairs up into a wide semi-circle around the throne, looking intently at Britney and Caisha, "I thought that, given time, you would come into the Mary-Sueness on your own- but no. You're clumsy, most of the elves dislike you, you dont look good in the gowns, you cant fight with a sword or bow to save you life and, the worst crime-" she glared at Caisha "-you had blue hair."  
Caisha noticed the past tense of the word, and was about to question further when beauty-and-light answered the unspoken inquiry for her,  
"Its pink now! Isnt that wonderful?"  
Caisha balked at this news, trying desperately to turn her head so that she could see her hair, to no avail- someone had tied it back carefully in a tight ponytail, leaving no strands loose that she might see. She tried shaking her head to loosen some bits, but still couldnt catch sight of her new colouring- swearing profoundly, she tried to push herself to her feet, though they were also bound by the pink lace- with a nod from Britney's beautiful blonde head, beauty-and-light pressed her shoulder back down with surprising strength for the wirey little half-elven brunette that she was. Caisha chose to shout her indignance, instead,  
"PINK! PINK? YOU INSANE BUNCH OF HIPPIES! WHY, FOR THE LOVE OF THE GOD WHO HATES ALL THINGS LACY AND SHAPED LIKE FLOWERS, WHY PINK!" The collected Sues drew back from Caisha's vengeance- the girl, as has been said before, could look terrifying when angry- not to mention she had bright, bubblegum pink hair... It was a scary combination. Britney took Caisha abuse calmly, and Christine gave a small little giggle,  
"Well, we happen to think pink's a nice colour---"  
"I COULDN'T GIVE A MONKEYS UNCLE WHETHER YOU BLOODY WELL THINK PINKS A BLOODY NICE COLOUR! _I _DONT!" This caused more gasps- someone in the crowd swooned and cried out "Blasphemy!"  
Caisha ignored them, not about to be stopped now she was on her angry roll, "IF ITS NOT THE TWIN DEMONS OF HELL, ITS A BUNCH OF CRAZY, PLASTICALLY ENHANCED BARBIE DOLLS WITH AN OBSESSION WITH LACE! AND WILL SOMEONE PLEASE FUCKING TURN S CLUB 7 _OFF!_ THEY _SUCK!_" Someone in the crowd of Sues fainted with a cry of 'Never!' and a roar of objection followed up- all the pretty voices mingled together rather sounded like someone having their throat torn out by a pack of wolves. Rather than the music being turned down, however, someone turned it up, so that it was all the more noticable- Caisha glowered.  
Britney carried on, speaking over Caisha's outrage calmly, as though she hadn't been interrupted in the first place, "Thank you, Daisy, you can let go now." beauty-and-light released Caisha's shoulder reluctanly- Caisha frowned. Daisy had some extremely sharp false nails. Britney continued, "You have managed two things of the Mary-Sue Code, however- one, you have managed to complete the task of getting yourself involved with the Fellowship, no matter for how short a time. This is promising... And the second thing is, you're falling for one of the characters."  
"AND ANOTHER THING, I---" Caisha was cut off by Britney's words- she stared at the Leader Sue in shock, "Saywhanow?"  
Britney just returned Caisha's gawp with her own level gaze- "True, Elrohir isnt usually one chosen by our Sue's, considering Legolas, Aragorn and Boromir get first picks- often, Elrohir doesent get a mention, nor does Elladan... But its not _that _uncommon."  
Caisha laughed feebly, all anger forgotten at the moment, "Uhm, no, actually, I dont think---"  
Britney raised an eyebrow, "Good. Don't think. It makes things easier for me, that way. And dont try to deny it- our Sue Sensors miss nothing." she waved a hand up to something behind Caisha, fixed to the wall she was leaning against... Caisha, curious, turned herself awkwardly and leaned back, to see what Britney was indicating- her jaw dropped. From one side of the massive cave wall to the other, running from the roof to about half way down the wall, were small computer screens, blinking and flashing away to themselves. There must have been hundreds. Caisha looked at the nearest one, which was a few feet above her, craning her neck to see properly...  
It was a row of status, like you would expect to see on a computer game; first up was a name, then an age, a small portrait and a breif description, cramped in a small box-like space at the top. After that, a thin red bar ran across the screen, finishing in a small heart to indicate it was the Sue's health... Below that, if the Sue that that Sensor was monitoring had a magical power of some sort, their mana bar showed how much magic they would be able to use before needing a rest. After that, were the usual stats of Hunger, Hygiene, Happiness, Comfort... Caisha felt like she was looking at a real life version of _The Sims. _At the very bottom, was a small scale, reading 'Love'- the bar shifted according to how deeply in love the said Sue was. In this case, on the Sensor Caisha was looking at, monitoring some Sue called Lilac, the bar was full, and a small name in a box besides the scale showed who the object of the Sue's desire was; the love of this 'Lilac' was 'Legolas'... Caisha couldnt surpress a roll of her eyes- surprise surprise...  
Britney watched Caisha studying the Sue Sensor's, before deciding it was time to speak again; "As you can see, we know near enough everything about you. And I know that you're falling for Elrohir."  
Caisha pulled a face, "Thats ridiculous... Hes like, two thousand years old or something as equally ancient... It'd be like going out with a fossil! Or Ross, from _Friends..._"  
Britney sighed and shook her head, "You'll find that, in Mary-Sue romances, age often doesn't matter."  
"Well-" Caisha looked indignant "-It matters to me. I really dont want to fall for someone old enough to be my great-great-great whatever grand-dad!"  
"Tough. You're falling for him. You can't stop it... And besides-" Britney gave a small shrug of her delicate shoulders, "-if you think that he didnt mature until about a hundred years old-" Caisha stared, "-then hes only really about twenty something, in our terms."  
Caisha didn't want to know what went on in that strange girls head- it made no sense to her at all.. Changing tact, she sighed, and wriggled a bit,  
"Well, be that as it may, can someone at least cut these bonds?"  
Britney, not sensing any immediate danger, nodded to Daisy- the brunette, half-elven Sue slipped a small dagger out of nowhere Caisha could see, and quickly glided the blade down through her bonds... Only, Britney clearly didn't know Caisha too well- the pink-haired teen scissored her legs out now they were free of the bonds, thanking the Gods that the muscles hadn't cramped themselves up, to swipe Daisy's legs from under her- only Caisha also forgot she was in a world of Sue's now... Daisy jumped aside with inhuman speed, hissing like an angry cat- only she dropped the knife... Before anyone could do anything other than stare, Caisha launched herself across the floor, wincing slightly as her muscles objected to the sudden movement, after hours of stillness, to snatch up the knife. Pushing herself to her feet, she waved the knife around foolishly, once again forgetting she was trapped in the world of Sue's- several hundred swords, daggers, bows and arrows were suddenly pointed at her head and various stretches of her anatomy... And through it all, Britney just watched with mild amusement.  
Caisha, suddenly finding the odds were several hundred to one, lifted her hands up in the air, and dropped the knife to the floor- Daisy quickly reclaimed it, glaring at her. Caisha returned the glare, and was about to say something until someone prodded her in to silence with the tip of an arrow; she suspected it was love-and-happiness... Britney raised her hand up, to regain everyones attention- Caisha spotted a small flower-shaped ring on her middle finger... It was pink. She scowled, as Britney began to speak,  
"Peace, Sister Sues'. As I said earlier, she is just misguided..." And to Caisha, she gave what she clearly thought to be a comforting smile, much like a therapist might give, "Don't worry. We're here to help... For God's sake, Stacie, stop doing that!" Stacie, known to Caisha as love-and-happiness, had left the crowd of angry weapon-weilding Sues so that she could coo over herself in one of the mirrors on the wall. Stacie scowled, turning to look back at them, only to find the entire Order of the Sue staring at her, and Caisha siezed the oppertunity. Quickly, before anyone noticed, she ducked under the weapons that were aimed at her, shoving through the Order and breaking free of the crowd- not knowing where she was going, she sped through the tables and chairs to the opposite end of the cave-like room, searching for someway out...  
As she searched the vast room for some sort of obvious or secret enterance, she heard the Sue's shouts as they realised she'd gotten away from them... Racing along the length of the cave, still searching for a way out, she prayed the silent prayer of an athiest who hopes to be wrong; please, god, save me from the rabid Sues... I'll be good, I promise... Well, good enough... Just dont let them make me wear _lace!_  
She turned, like a cornered rabbit, to face the oncoming crowd of Sue's, feeling the first dregs of fear set in- christ, these girls were _insane..._ Still desperately searching for her way out, it was sods law that she saw the small archway, wreathed in flowers, at the opposite end of the cave, beneath the Sue Sensors- how could she have not seen it? She'd been sat right next to the bloody thing... Trying to slip away again, she found herself edged in on all sides, as the Order advanced... and -oh, God!- one was waving a mascara brush at her, a manic smile on her face...  
Things would have gone very badly for our poor pink-haired heroine (-who knows? Maybe even a full make-over would have been on the torture schedule XO! The horror!-) had not a rather familiar figure, riding a fine iron grey desterier, come charging through the wreathed archway, shaking pink flowers out of his hair irritably, swearing the few choice words he'd picked up since Caisha's arrival in Middle-Earth- his shoulders and arms were covered in what looked like pink snakes, that he tried to dislodge by shaking, to no avail... Caisha noticed it was silly-string, and wondered how it had happened- no doubt he hadn't faired better at the hands of the Sue's than she had... She could even see numberous lipstick and lipgloss smears covering his face and neck. A few Sue's turned around at the sound of galloping hooves, and a few more gawked at him- someone in the crowd cried out over the sudden hush,  
"Oh my god! Its---"  
Caisha finished the sentance, calling out in a delighted cry, "Elrohir!"

------

_Elrohir had first discovered Caisha was missing when he found Aerauth, commonly known as Fred, lazily grazing near the tree that had knocked Caisha out of the saddle in the first place... Knowing fully well that all the elven horses were trained to stop immediately if they lost their rider, purposely or no, Elrohir knew that Caisha had to be around there somewhere- and so he was extremely worried to find that she wasnt... He hunted through the shrubs and surrounding area, his ring of search growing wider as his panic mounted... He had had no idea where she'd gotten to- until he was Glomped, that is.  
To be Glomped is a deadly thing. It is when a rabid fan girl launches themselves onto the object of their hearts desire, knocking them over, slobbering with lust, and latches themselves to them, smothering their protests by the pure force of their Glomp. It is near enough impossible to dislodge a Glomper once they have a hold- they are like human limpets, with extra of those little sucky pad things. Once a Glomper has taken root on you, it is suggested you try and scream for help as much as possible, kill the Glomper or live with it.  
Our Glompee, the half-elven Elrohir, managed to pry himself free from his Glomper by pure luck- he had still been holding Bregedur at the moment of his Glomping, and the massive horse's reins had gotten between the rabid fan girl Glomper, and Elrohir had managed to use the thick leather strips to pull himself free- but not before the Glomper had planted kiss upon kiss on the side of his neck and face- the lipstick would prove later irremovable for a few days yet. Before fleeing on Bregedur, Elrond managed to snatch the pink ribbon from the girls beautifully mysterious black hair, and wound it around his hand in disgust as he sped off into the shadows of the forest... The ribbon had a heart on the end.  
About two hours later, having been searching that whole time, he'd stormed out of Elrond's House, re-saddled Bregedur and disappeared before anyone could stop him- he wouldn't even tell Elladan where he was going. All he had said to his brother was; "Somewhere you cant follow..."  
Everyone knew where the Order of the Sue made their lair- nearly every male character in history had been kidnapped at some point or another, and taken through the small window between the worlds that the Leader of the Sue had discovered... If Elrohir ever got his hands on that Lyra and Will for making that bloody window, he'd personally make sure Will stuck that subtle knife where the sun dont shine... (-A/N; Read His Dark Materials if you dont know what Im on about xD-) Through that window, the Order of the Sue had made their lair- known as the 'Pink Paradise' -and had been there for the past few hundred years. They didnt often make an appearance; but even Sauron would be petrified if he had the Order living on his doorstep- just mentioning the Order could strike more fear into the hearts of males than Voldemort and Sauron combined. A Mary-Sue is a powerful, dangerous weapon that should not be taken lightly...  
How he managed to get Bregedur through the small window between worlds was something he would never be able to understand- one moment, he was tugging on the reins to try and get him to walk through, then the next, the iron grey steed was stood besides him, snorting the equivilent of a horsey laugh. Elrohir suspected there was something not quite right with that horse...  
He'd found himself in a long corridor, which ended in a wide archway, wreathed in pink flowers, and a large room beyond- he could hear shouting from the room beyond. The corridor itself was made of plain white marble, with a load of posters stuck up along the wall- bewildered, Elrohir had recognised posters of Legolas, Aragorn, Boromir, Frodo and other, not-so-sought-after characters that covered the wall in a massive Lord of the Rings collage. He stepped closer to Bregedur, who had nuzzled his shoulder as though in comfort,  
"This place is evil... I fear for her..." he had muttered, his voice echoing eerily along the empty hall- he pulled himself up into the saddle quickly, collecting the reins up- but Bregedur had not taken more than one step forward before an alarm set off, screaming out 'Intruder Alert', repeatedly, in a voice that sounded suspiciously like Hillary Duff- though Elrohir wouldn't know about that... Out of nowhere, Elrohir found himself showered with pink silly-string, emerging from somewhere in the rafters of the roof, and a bouquet of pink flowers descended onto his head, sticking to the silly string and getting caught up in the tresses of his hair. Bregedur, taking fright at this sudden attack, had bolted down the corridor, breaking through the archway at the end and thundered into the cavernous room beyond; Elrohir was aware of a lot of small screens flashing at him before his attentions were caught by the large crowd of scarily perfect girls, surrounding another girl- one of the girls cried out something, and he caught his name being yelled in the sudden hush... He recognised that voice...  
Bregedur stomped and tossed his regal head, nares quivering as a few Sue's approached- his hooves scraped against the cushions littering the floor dangerously, but Elrohir was still looking for the owner of that voice- there! A figure moved in the crowd, barreling through the mass of Mary-Sues, calling his name again, waving her hand so it could be seen over the top of the the Sue's heads- and then a teenage girl with bright, baby pink hair in a tight ponytail, wearing a silvery white, hooded cloak, had fallen free of the crowd, racing towards him. He tried to twitch Bregedur away from what he presumed to be another Glomper, only Breg, snorting at his riders ignorance, stayed stubbornly put. Elrohir watched in terror as the pink-haired figure ran towards him, pursued by most of the Sue crowd- his hand rested on the hilt of his sword, preparing himself to use it against a girl... The pink haired girl was drawing nearer- it was terrifying, it was dangerous, it was... it was..._

"Caisha!"  
Elrohir stared in surprise; last time he'd seen her, hadnt she had blue hair? But he had no time to dwell on the matter, because she was being closely chased- he nudged Bregedur forwards to meet her, leaning a hand down to grab her outstretched one... Caisha gripped his hand in hers, holding on tightly as she felt him pull her up- she had to swing her body rather aerobically to the side so she could slide into the saddle infront of him- there was no time for pleasant greetings, considering the Order of the Sue was very close to them now, and she just held on to the saddle horn grimly as Bregedur turned himself, Elrohir kicking the horses flanks slightly. The dappled desterier took off, from a walk, straight into a charge, and Caisha shut her eyes against the wind as the air whipped about her- please God, dont punish me with anymore trees...  
The sounds followed them- Caisha half imagined she heard someone flying, behind them- she could certainly hear the soft beating of wings... She opened her eyes cautiously, still clutching on tightly as the horse rocketed down the cave, towards the arch way. She could hear Britney's voice clear over the sound of the hub-bub, and caught a fleeting glimpse of the blonde Leader still lounging in her throne, looking highly amused, before they broke through into the marbled corridor... At the speed they were go, she was relieved for the feel of Elrohir's arms around her as they held the reins, keeping her from falling, and the solid realisation of his chest behind her... Britney had obviously been lying about Caisha falling for him... hadnt she? She bloody well hoped so. The idea of being in love with a fictional character was not very appealing...  
She felt Elrohir lower his head to her ear, shouting to make himself heard over the wind and the yells,  
"I dont know the way out!"  
Caisha shook her head- neither did she. "Just ride!" she called in return.  
"Where to!"  
"No idea. Just do it!"  
Elrohir obeyed, spurring Bregedur on with a kick of his booted heels- the next thing Caisha knew was that the marble hallway had fallen back into trees, and an expanse of wild grass sprouted beneath the horses hooves, where flagstones had been just a moment again... She spun around in the saddle, still holding on, to look behind them- forest loomed up to meet her gaze, rather than the marble corridor she'd been expecting... Astounded, she twisted back around to see where they were going. Bregedur had dropped down into a quick canter, picking his own path home amongst the forest...  
When Caisha finally trusted herself to speak, she noticed that darkness had set in, and the night was thick about them...  
"Elly?"  
Elrohir's breathing was quick and short, having just navigated their escape from a rather perilous bunch of girls,  
"Yes?"  
"Was I just kidnapped by a bunch of rabid Mary-Sues?" she was half-hoping she'd dreamed it, and that she'd been lying unconscious on the floor all this while...  
"Yes."  
"Damnit."  
There was a silence, broken only by the occasional snap of a twig as Bregedur, now at a leisurely trot, stepped over it, before she spoke again;  
"Elly?"  
"Yes?"  
"What----

------

_Back in Pink Paradise, Britney watched as the Sues', all looking thoroughly ruffled and exasperated, assembled around her throne,  
"We need to follow them!" This was Daisy, calling out over the tops of the Sues' heads...  
Britney shook her blonde head, "No..."  
"Why not? I've already tacked Prettyblossom up!" that was Christine, her voice wailing. Britney almost shuddered; Prettyblossom was Christine's rather disgustingly fast horse, that resembled a My Little Pony more than the great warhorse she made out he was...  
"I dont care." she replied calmly, "She's doing some things right, at least. We will give her time to correct her ways, in her own time. That Elrohir came to save her is as equally promising..."  
"I like Elrohir..." this was an obscure voice in the crowd, muttering to themself... Britney glared,  
"Well, Jade, I dont care whether you like Elrohir. _That _Elrohir came for Caisha. Not you."  
Jade sulked, frowning at the Leader of the Sue, "Spoilsport..."  
Britney rolled her beautifully shaped eyes and ignored her, "As I was saying-" she sent another glare at Jade and Christine, "-we shall watch and wait... If she screws up, _then _we can take her with us again. As it is, I am not about to risk more rescue attempts to bring her back. She will come into the MarySueness on her own... And if she doesent? Well..." Britney grinned manically, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."_

------

----time is it?"  
His eyes flickered to the sky, then to the back of Caisha's pink-haired head,  
"A few hours before dawn."  
"Oh."  
"Why?"  
"Its my birthday..."

**To Be Continued- **Yes, that was a very random chapter Did you like?


	7. Of Naked Elronds, Teddy Bears and BKs

**Disclaimer-** Yesh, we all know by now. Lintu does NOT own any LotR characters at all o.0 apart for the ones listed under 'my characters' below. Why do you have to distress me so? –Sobs-

**Notes-** Guess whos back, back again? Lintu's back, back, tell a friend xDDD Yep, my muse finally returned to me… On Caisha's birthday, no less Okay, so I'm a few months late. So sue me o

**Pronunciation of my characters-  
Caisha- **Cay-sha  
**Ysan- **Ee-san  
**Dyanai- **Di-yan-ey  
**Illyra- **Ill-aye-rar  
**Línarai- **Lee-nar-ey  
**Bregedur- **Bree-ga-door  
**Aerauth- **Ey-er-ow-th

**To my beloved reviewers- **Wooo 3 Reviews. Everyone had milk and cookies! Yay. AN- Author was on a high at this point. Ignore her   
**  
Crecy- **Bwuha. Scary sues indeed.

**Faded Velvet- **I'm sorry I stopped writing –cries- I won't do it again! Too often… Hopefully o.0

**xkuroxshinobix- **Lots of pink lace and pink hair xD Hehe

**Kd7sov- **Thank you very much Ill try adding an extra line in this time round x3.

**----------- **

**Chapter Six - Of Naked Elrond's, Britney's Teddy bears and Birthday Kisses**

"I still don't think it was a good idea." A males voice; mature, sophisticated. Undoubtedly elvish- it had one of those 'Go-and-lick-my-big-toe' type of qualities. Worried. It was not the type of voice that should be talking to the second voice.  
"Oh, don't be such a killjoy, sir." A girls voice; younger, slightly more prone to fun. The type of voice you'd hear in the back of your head going 'Oh, go on- no-one will know. They shouldn't have left the matches here in the first place, should they? Especially not with those oily rags just lying casually over in that corner… And look! Oh, someone just happened to leave a bottle of gasoline over here…' Amused  
"I just don't think it was such a good idea… Maybe we went a tad too far?"  
"I thought you were supposed to be a trouble maker?"  
"I am!"  
"You're not. You're just a killjoy."  
"I'm not!"  
"Are too, sir!" Elrohir had given up trying to correct her about the 'sir' thing in the hope she'd get bored of saying it. So far, it hasn't worked.   
"Not!"  
"Are too, sir!"  
"Is this one of those moments where we get stuck in a repetitive cycle about something we won't even remember arguing about in a few days?"  
"In a nutshell, sir? Yes, sir."  
"Oh… Not!"  
"Are too, sir!"  
"Not!"  
And so on, round and round in a never ending circle… The two voices belonged to the two rather young figures making their way out of the Rivendell house- well, I would suppose they could be called young. The girl certainly was, by mortal standards- and the male was young in the terms of oh, say- eternity? The girl was rough five foot seven or eight, fairly attractive with bright blue eyes that danced with the mischief of, well… mischief. She had only one apparent flaw –though it was a surprisingly big one, nevertheless- and that would be the fact she had bright, bubblegum pink hair.  
Oh yes, you read right- bubblegum pink. As in pinkeh. As in pink and lace and Sues and dolls and prams and ribbons and S Club 7 and… pink o.0 Yep. Most definitely pink… She was walking a little bit strange, considering she had not yet got round to fixing the points of her brown hose and had fallen over three times in succession because of it- she was also still wearing the cream tunic and the black Nirvana tee, complete with the yellow x-eyed face that was traditional of Kurt Cobain and co, pulled over the top. Finishing it all was a beautiful silvery-white cloak that was pulled taunt about her shoulders, the hood pulled up over her head, casting her face into shadow for the most part.  
The male was taller, breaching six foot in the least, with grey eyes that glittered with an inner fire- an inner cunning. Whilst the girl supplied the mischief, the male knew how to pull it off without getting caught… He had short hair for an elf, the chocolate bangs falling in slight waves to just under chin, his pointed ears protruding from the stands slightly. He wore a high-necked, forest green tunic and black hose, finishing in dark green boots that scuffed against the stone flooring of the house as they walked. He had on a deep green cloak fastened by a leaf-shaped brooch at his neck that snapped behind him as he walked- it was very impressive… Unlike their conversation.  
"Not!"  
"Are too, sir!"  
"Not!"  
"Are too, sir!"  
"No--- did you hear that?"  
The male elf's voice had been cut off by a rather high-pitched scream behind them. The two young ones exchanged a mischievous grin before they broke into a run, racing down the spiral staircase they'd been descending, taking the steps three at a time and trying not to break their necks on the unpredictable path.  
They broke out into one of the many courtyards, Caisha skidding slightly at the sudden change of ground beneath her feet, grinning to herself still as she started off again- only to have Elrohir's arm snake about her waist and pull her sideways, into one of the alcoves of the courtyard, beneath the high arch-like cloisters. It was a narrow space, and she was freakishly aware of being pressed up against Elrohir's chest, his arm tight about her, her head resting on his collar, just beneath his chin… Somewhere in the back of her mind, something did a victory dance. She mentally prodded it into silence…  
In fact, so involved was she with Elrohir's body that she barely noticed the tall figure of a naked elf, clearly ruffled, running past their little alcove at full speed, screaming in what he clearly thought was a blood-curdling fashion and waving something over his head. It caused mass confusion- true, it was only an hour or two after dawn, with the golden rays just beginning to melt into the bright, cloudless blue of the Middle-Earth sky, but elf upon elf was up and about- Caisha wondered, briefly, whether the elves actually slept at all, or if they had some special ability to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed all the time…  
She could feel Elrohir's chest shaking as he laughed uncontrollably- she tugged her thoughts reluctantly away from concentrating on his warmth to look up at him, eyebrow raised questioningly. He just grinned down at her, leaning out of the alcove to look after the elf- Caisha joined him. The screaming elf so far had fallen over twice, knocked down three fellow elves and jumped into the crisp river. Caisha joined Elrohir's laughter as she tugged herself out of the alcove- for a moment, she thought she saw a disappointed look cross over Elrohir's face, but when she looked again, he was his usual self… Well, that was something to ponder on, at least.  
She was about to say something when a second voice behind them spoke out tiredly, as though this was an everyday occurrence- well, since Caisha had been with them, it was. She span around to look at another Elrohir- only, this one didn't quite make her heart beat faster when she looked at him… Besides, his grey eyes didn't look as warm and his chocolate hair was longer- the traditional elf style, which meant it was longer than Caisha's own. A few of the elven kin frowned on Elrohir for having cut his hair short- a few even blamed it on Caisha, but neither of the two younglings seemed to care… And anyway- this Elrohir was wearing a leaf jerkin and tunic, with pants and high boots. It was Elladan, clearly. He was looking at them with what could be mistaken for amusement, if you didn't know elves- they only showed what they wanted you to see,  
"Tell me, my friends… Why did I just see my father run past me, naked?" he raised an eyebrow, questioningly, "Tithin Vanwa Min-" he looked at Caisha- she scowled, angrily, but let it pass. The twins had always been nice to her; they were the only ones allowed to call her what the wished, from Lady to Child, "-why do I get the strangest feeling this has something to do with you?"  
"No idea, Elleena." The elf scowled- she just smiled brightly back, "why would it have something to do with me?"  
Elrohir was laughing too hard to say anything helpful- the distant figure of the naked Elrond had scrabbled out of the river, a lily pad perched precariously on his head, and was hollering something dreadful and un-elf-like as he chased one of the loose horses across the plains. Elladan looked amused, though he tried to hide it behind a fierce look,  
"Forgive me if I'm wrong, Caisha, but I did not know Elrond was accustomed to not only dying his hair green but shaving off half of it and plaiting the other side. Similarly, I didn't know he liked to take off all his clothes and draw obscenities on his body in black paste. Not to mention he appears to be waving a pink, lacy teddy bear about his head…"  
"Maybe he just likes teddy bears?" Caisha muttered, glaring at Elladan accusingly- he was sucking the fun out of everything. She could hear Elrohir's laughter slowly dying away behind her…  
Elladan gave an irritated sigh,  
"Where did you get it all?"  
Caisha, feeling rather nettled by this point, smiled mischievously,  
"No-body kidnaps me and gets away with it, Elleena."  
Elladan blinked in surprise,  
"You stole their teddy bear?"  
"And their hair dye, and a pair of scissors. I managed to get a few pillows as well- though I think Línarai stole them out of my room. And a few peculiar looking mushrooms we crushed into his night time drink…" She shifted under Elladan's disbelieving gaze, "What?" she muttered, indignantly, "They shouldn't leave their things lying around if they don't want them to be stolen, should they?" maybe it wasn't a good idea to mention the Orlando Bloom and Sean Bean posters she'd stashed away in Bregedur's saddle bags. No, definitely not a good idea… "It's not like Britney will miss them!" she glowered, stung by the implication she was a thief- she'd only borrowed them, right?  
Elladan looked stunned, "You stole a teddy bear from the Leader of the Order of the Sue?"  
Caisha shifted slightly under his look, "Don't look so shocked! S'only a teddy bear."  
Elladan looked like he was about to say something else when Caisha felt Elrohir's arm curl about her waist. Inside, something did a little dance of glee,  
"Leave her be, Elladan. It's her birthday. She's entitled to a bit of fun."  
"Yeah!" Caisha grinned, her defiance restored. Elladan cast Elrohir a curious look, an almost playful look in his eyes- Caisha wondered, not for the first time, if they spoke telepathically. She'd have to investigate further. Elrohir continued,  
"Besides, you've done worse, Elladan. What about the time we put mushrooms in Ysan's meal and convinced him there was a monster empire under his bed? He destroyed his room, climbed onto the roof and sat there singing cock-a-doodle-do every hour. Dyanai had to shoot him through the leg to get him down…"  
There were collective snickerings from the three of them- Caisha looked at the two warily- it was obvious they had a powerful bond linking them, judging by the way they seemed to read what the other was thinking. She felt like a bit of a trespasser, but Elrohir's arm around her waist assured her that she belonged there. Elladan at least was smiling now, though he still eyeing Elrohir curiously… He changed the subject,  
"It's your birthday, Caisha?"  
She blinked at the sudden change in conversation, and gave a mute nod. Elladan grinned, certainly with his usual sense of mischief, "Alright. I think me and Elrohir need to have a little talk about this… Why don't you go and try to get my father back inside? Some robes might be nice, too."

------

"_Elrohir… Please tell me you are not falling for the little mortal."  
The twins were walking steadily, side by side, down the inner passages ways of The Last Homely House. Elladan, being slightly taller of the two, was watching his brother out the corner of his eye. Elrohir had not yet noticed, because his grey eyes were focused on the distant figure of Caisha, who was wrestling the clothe-less Elrond to the floor with the aid of Línarai and Ysan. They had pried the pink and lacy teddy bear out of the elf lord's grip- the loose horse had stolen it, and appeared to be tearing it to shreds at the far end of the field. Dyanai was standing by, holding a loose mauve gown of fine silk he was trying to force onto the reluctant Elrond. Línarai_ _was trying to force a hood on him, to hide his hair loss… Elrohir had a wry smile on his lips as he watched.   
"Hmm?" he turned to look at his twin, who had a disapproving glare fixed on his face. "What? Caisha?" Elrohir gave a laugh. It was too loud to be real. "Don't be silly. She's a human!"  
"You can't lie to your twin, you know."  
Elrohir shifted uncomfortably, "I'm not lying!"  
Elladan continued as though he hadn't heard him, "Father won't approve."  
Elrohir pulled a face, "Father is currently running around naked with green hair. I don't think he'll notice for a while."  
"Ah-hah! So you do?"  
Elrohir frowned, "What?" he scowled, realizing he'd been tricked into this, "Damnit Elladan!"  
His twin just grinned, and shrugged, "It's obvious… But, Mortal's don't love the same way we do, Elrohir. If she doesn't love you back… Well, we can die of broken hearts. Remember that."  
Elrohir seemed alarmed, "Say for a minute that I am falling for her… You don't think she loves me back?"  
Elladan sighed, tapping his elegant fingers against the stone walls they passed through, "Mortals find it difficult to distinguish between lust and love."  
Elrohir was even more alarmed now, and it showed, his grey eyes wide with surprise, "But you don't think she loves me back at all?"  
Elladan sighed again, "I don't know. It's hard to tell with her. Most of the time she's making a nuisance of herself- but sometimes, when you two are together… I don't know. Maybe she does… But maybe she's just homesick, and just needs comfort."  
Elrohir frowned as he turned his gaze off the distant figures, who were trying to persuade Elrond his boots wouldn't eat his feet, and looked at the floor sullenly, "I don't know what I'm going to do. She's still a child, in regards to our age."  
Elladan smirked, "So are we."  
Elrohir shrugged, "But still… What am I going to do?"  
"Well, first off, we're going to throw a birthday party."_

------

It had been a party to remember, even by elf standards. Gimli got drunk and started making out with the Hall curtains; Legolas tried to explain the difference between a yew long bow and a yew short bow until Aragorn knocked him out with a plate of strategically positioned fruit, Pippin was caught stashing carrots under his vest and Merry, in his wild naivety, put them down his pants, making him look freakishly disfigured.  
Gandalf set off a bunch of birthday fireworks inside the Hall of Fire that had the elves, usually so calm, pounding the tables for more, Elrond declared he was now officially a chipmunk and bounced off somewhere to hide his 'finds'- a half eaten apple core and a bottle of elven wine he'd discovered lying on the mantelpiece. Clearly, the effects of the mushroom had yet to wear off… Ysan had managed to tie the hood tightly around Elrond's head, so no-one would see his hair, but it was only a matter of time.  
Boromir got everyone to line up and do the conga whilst singing 'Happy Birthday' (after Caisha had taught them the words. Eight times.) and Frodo stood in the corner feeling neglected because it wasn't his birthday and nobody was paying him any attention, except Sam, who was drooling over the bottom his master's robes.  
Then there were the presents… She seemed to get something off everyone- she was amazed, as she hadn't been expecting a thing… From Elrond, she got a pile of chestnuts which, in his current state, was a rather generous present. Even his daughter, Arwen, who she had not yet got around to speaking to, gave her the gown that she'd worn, long ago, and said she could keep the hooded cloak.  
Aragorn gave her a small ivory-hilted throwing dagger in a leather sheath, no longer than her middle finger, with a point so sharp she cut herself taking it out to look at it. The hilt had been carved with a variety of patterns showing scenes from long ago, and the blade itself was straight, silver and hungry for blood.  
Gimli gave her a thick, strong leather belt to replace 'that damn flimsy white thing' she currently wore. It had small hooks and loops all around it to hold things in place, a belt buckle so tight she nearly broke her fingers prying it open, the buckle furnished with a fire and bone carved motif. It was heavy, and made her arms ache if she held it up for too long  
From Boromir she got a large shield, a curved triangular shape with a black lion rearing against a white, wooden background. Someone had told him her arm length and width, as the straps were adjusted to fit her arm properly. She wondered how he'd managed to get it done in a few hours, but decided not to ask.  
From the adorable little hobbits, she got a variety of things; firstly, the four of them had made her a cake. True, Pippin and Merry had stuffed carrots into the middle of it, but Sam had layered the thing in chocolate and Frodo had written 'Hapyy Birfdaay' on the top in white icing- it was so screwed up on account of the table having been above their heads when they were making it. Caisha just grinned, declared it was the best chocolate carrot cake in the world and promptly ate about half of it, surreptitiously avoiding the mound of carrots in the middle.  
She also got, from them, a pouch, which, Pippin assured her, was for more than holding Longbottom leaf in; though Merry denied the idea furiously and they scuffled around about it, squashing the cake. Merry also gave her a small smoking pipe, which she pocketed with a grin. Frodo gave her a brace of wrist knives he'd discovered stashed away in the bottom of the armory room and Sam gave her a bridle, which puzzled her at first, considering she didn't have a horse, but she smiled ecstatically and hugged the small hobbit furiously anyway.  
Gandalf gave her a small, ruby-shaped stone on a leather thong necklace, about the size of a fifty pence coin, amethyst in colour, which blazed with an inner fire. When she looked closely at it, a pearly white inferno was burning in the middle of the stone… Gandalf wouldn't tell her what it was for, he only smiled secretively as Elrohir helped her clip the present about her neck… The elf's hands lingered a tad longer than was necessary against her neck, making her skin shiver before he took them away.  
From Legolas- yes, even the Lego-man, Prince of hissy-fits, had got her something – she got a gruff, dispassionate apology she graciously accepted and another dagger, longer than the one Aragorn had given her, yet not crafted as finely. Still, she was grateful for everything she got and actually gave the blonde haired Princeling a hug, to his disgust and everyone else's surprise.  
Elladan, smiling smugly, gave her a beautiful beige-coloured burlywood bow, wrapped around at both ends by a thick, protective green thread. It was like the ones she'd been training with when she practiced with him and Elrohir, only much, much finer, carved with elven runes around the edge, and entirely new. She felt the string, testing its accuracy, and nailed Gimli to the wall by his beard, to a round of drunken applause. Elladan was rather embarrassed by his extravagant gift, even more so when Caisha kissed his cheek in gratitude ('I didn't get a kiss!' from Gimli) but he assured her he was going to give her one later anyway, before she left, so she may as well have it for her birthday.

The party had lasted several hours. It was well into the night, so late that it was getting early, when Elrond, having gathered up some of the dregs of his sanity, informed everyone that, as the Fellowship was leaving tomorrow, or today as it were, to escort Frodo to Mount Doom, everyone should go to bed. It was a bit of a party kill, realizing you couldn't face down Sauron with a hangover.  
Buzzing pleasantly with the effects of being just a tad tipsy, (as in, 'fall over my chair and claim it moved itself in front of me' tipsy) Caisha was about to leave with the rest of them when she felt someone's grip close, gently but firmly, around her wrist. Spinning around, she looked into Elrohir's glittering grey eyes curiously, obediently waiting until he released her. She was aware, in her pleasant state, that she hadn't got a present off him- she was rather hurt. She knew it was selfish, and she was very grateful for what she did get, no mistakes- she just would have thought that if anyone would give her a present, it would have been him…  
But it wasn't until everyone had filed out, leaving them alone in the Halls of Fire, that he did release her, a sad smile on his face,  
"You're definitely going, then?"  
"'fraid so, sir!"  
He couldn't help but smile slightly more cheerfully, "We'll miss you, around here- pranks won't be the same without you."  
Caisha waved her hand dismissively, "I'll leave you the mushroom stash. It's under my mattress- but I think Línarai may have found it. She was acting weird. Sir."  
"You mean, dancing on table tops /isn't/ normal?" Elrohir put on a look of mock surprise. Caisha shoved him slightly,  
"Don't make fun of me! It's mean."  
Elrohir laughed, and shook his head, "You're wondering why I didn't give you a present, aren't you?"  
"Uhm… Not to be rude, I love what everyone got me, but… Yeah, I am."  
Elrohir smiled, and moved over to the shadows of the Hall- he returned a moment later, something hidden behind his back. Caisha craned her neck to see it eagerly, grinning, before he shifted his arms and revealed it to her. Caisha was lost for words…  
It was a sword. At first, it was concealed in a leather scabbard ingrained so intricately in elvish writing and symbols she could probably read them with her eyes closed… If she understood elvish, of course. Elrohir saw her looking curiously,  
"It just says 'The blade within this sheath is marked by the elven kin.' It's a standard message." He gave a wry smile… Slowly, Caisha slid the sword from the scabbard.  
The cross hilt was made of pure silver, the handgrip mounted by blue leather, creating the rivets she would need to use to keep a purchase on it- unaware of its weight, Caisha almost dropped it when she first took it, grabbing it at the last minute before it clattered onto the floor, giving Elrohir an apologetic smile, which he just grinned at. It slid perfectly into her grip- it had been designed for her, and her alone. Caisha presumed that Elrohir, like Elladan, had been going to give it to her before she left- no-one could have made such a fine weapon in a days notice. Then again, what did she know of making swords?  
The blade itself was magnificent. It must have been three foot long at least, a steel forged blade with edges so sharp it could slice a single hair if you rested the hair strand on the edge- Caisha knew, because she tested it. Its point glittered and winked in the lighting, and she could feel the power humming through it. There were runes carved into the silver blade, deep and clear, hand-carved with a breath-taking fines. She stared at them for a while, before glancing at Elrohir,  
"What do the runes say."  
Elrohir grinned, "Tirith Nîn Tithin Vanwa Min Trí E Weths." Caisha blinked in bewilderment, "And in normal language?"  
Elrohir shook his head, giving a vain little mock-sniff, as though amazed anyone could be so stupid. Caisha shoved him with her free hand, almost unbalancing herself, "Tell me!"  
Elrohir actually seemed a tad embarrassed about it; "Guide My Little Lost One Through The Shadows."  
Caisha grinned slightly, "Aww, that's sweet. C'mere, you!" she slid the sword back into its scabbard and placed it on the table, before curling her arms about Elrohir's broad chest and kissing his cheek lightly, as she had to Elladan, "Thank you!" she smiled, holding onto him perhaps a fraction too long… Elrohir's arms curled about her waist in response, pulling her closer,  
"Happy birthday, Caisha." He whispered, and before she could say anything else she was cut off by his lips as they pressed softly to her own… She shut her eyes, hands tightening about him for a moment as the small little thought in the back of her mind let fireworks go off- but then he let go, and took a step back, looking confused. Caisha was slightly offended- she didn't think she was /that/ bad a kisser…  
But something was stirring in Elrohir's mind and stomach that told him what he'd just done was very stupid. His inside selves fought momentarily over something, before he forced a smile onto his face, though it was clearly strained,  
"I'm sorry…" he murmured, without looking at her, then promptly fled from the Halls of Fire.  
Caisha stared after him, bewildered as to what was going on- she'd have to find out in the morning, if she got to him before they had to leave. She collected her things up and, staggering slightly under the weight of her birthday haul, made her way to her bedroom.

Happy birthday? Bah. Screw you.

**To Be Continued- **SOOOO Sorry I took forever xD But I'm back. Be happy. Yay I know you're all smiling really… Alright, so the Fellowship will leave in the next chapter, and who knows? Maybe Cay won't get to speak to Elrohir before she goes o! –dun dun dun- tune in some other time to find out x3


	8. Of Mr Snuggles, Werewolves and PS

**Disclaimer-** Well, secretly, in the time I was gone, I stole the entire copyrighting document-thingies from JRR Tolkien's family, because I figured they were rich enough already, and now I own the entire LotR world! BWUHAHAHA! No, I didn't really, but I live in hope, right?

**Notes-** Okay, so I lied. My muse abandoned me for months on end- but I have a reason! I blame my GCSE's- because they're horrible and make me revise and Im panicking... And Ive owed you all a chapter in so long, so here it is! Yay!

**Pronunciation of my characters-  
Caisha- **Cay-sha (Known as Cay)  
**Ysan- **Ee-san  
**Dyanai- **Di-yan-ey  
**Illyra- **Ill-aye-rar (Known as Ra)  
**Línarai- **Lee-nar-ey (Known as Rai)  
**Bregedur- **Bree-ga-door  
**Aerauth- **Ey-er-ow-th (Known as Fred)

**To my beloved reviewers- **Wow xD You're all so loverly. Thank you all for reviewing- and I hope you enjoy this! I've not seen LotR in a while, so it took me a bit of research to find out what happened next p And I couldnt have Elrohir let Cay go without a proper goodbye- so I want to hear some 'awws' from you! -pokes you with a stick-

**----------- **

**Chapter Seven- Of Mr Snuggles, Werewolves and Plot Secrets  
**

---

_"Where is it? Mr Snuggles, where are you?"_

_There was a solitary shape pawing frantically through a large, pink, lace-covered, flower shaped box. Perfectly manicured nails were becoming chipped and worn as they tore through the discarded items the box held, enchanting blue eyes narrowed darkly as she hunted through the old junk. Full lips were pursed into an ugly line and immaculately straight blonde hair that shimmered like wheat in the sunlight (Anyone else wishing for a plague of locusts in this particular wheat field?) was in disarray- a growl started in the richy tanned, flawless throat and rose to a crescendo, until Britney, Leader of the Order of the Sue, threw the box across the cavern with inhuman strength, where it hit another Mary Sue and killed her. But, because this is a perfect world full of perfect people (-shudder- oh, the horror) she immediately came back to life using the powers of her second-removed-great-great-great-aunts-brothers-uncles-sons-grandmothers-secret-lover which she never knew she had and then rejoiced in the fact she had this totally unique gift, unlike anyone else in the world... Oh, can we detect the sarcasm?_

_So the Order of the Sue threw a party, and anyone else who discovered powers that came from their second-removed-great-great-great-aunt's-brothers-uncle's-son's-grandmother's-secret-lover at that time were banned, because no-one likes to steal a Mary Sue's spotlight- no-one would want to. They are extremely dangerous when provoked- your best bet to avoid an attack is to throw either an S Club 7 CD or an Orlando Bloom poster in the opposite direction and leg it like the clappers... But I digress... Whilst all the Mary Sue's rocked out perfectly to ATeens, waving neat hands in the air and boogying on down with some amazing dance moves that Wade Robson himself could not contest, Britney sat on her Pink Throne and brooded. And schemed. And generally set her IQ of 25007403858964 and 1 into motion in an attempt to find a revenge plan that wouldn't break her nails._

_However, because the authoress of this story doesn't want her main character killed off at this point, she reduced Britney's IQ of 25007403858964 and 1 to 25.1 and laughed evily to herself, then choked on a cheerio and died. (No, she didnt really, but I scared you, didnt I? Thought so.) So, during the celebration, Britney grabbed her longsword and slid away into the shadows with her uber amazing silent sneaking powers and disappeared through one of the many hidden gateways into another world- by the time any of the Order of the Sue noticed their Leader wasn't there, they were all too perfectly hung over to care._

_And I lied. Really, I raised her IQ from 2.51. I felt it was a bit harsh that the Leader of the Sue had a lower IQ than a flea. _

_Alas, it is a very intelligent flea we are talking about._

----

"Cut it."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Cut it."

"Cut what?"

"The hair, Rai, the hair."

"Oh... But... your hair! Lady Cay-"

"Ahem?"

"-I mean Cay- its your hair! Why would you want to cut it off?"

"Oh, Golly gosh, Gee Wizz and Jimmy Cricket! Let me think about that... Maybe the fact it's bright pink?"

"... I happen to think pink is a very becoming colour on you."

"Well, I don't."

"I'll just go and stand over here for a while, shall I?"

Caisha nodded bluntly at her servant helper and turned back to stare into the oval, silver-wreathed mirror thoughtfully, biting on the bed of her thumbnail. She'd tried so hard to dye her hair back to her normal colour- the only sign of progress she had were the dark streaks of purple now running through the bubblegum bright tresses, which, she had to admit, could only be an improvement under these circumstances. Hell, she'd rather have it back at the familiar old blue than this... this... _dangerous _hue. Exasperated with herself, she tied it up in a loose ponytail then turned from the mirror, staring silently out of the arch-shaped, paneless windows, completely oblivious of the fact her thumb cuticle was bleeding. _I want to go home... This isn't me. I go to music concerts and fall asleep in some randomer's house because I got too stoned. I punish my liver with alcohol, for it is evil, and my mind with rubbishy teen novels, because its amusing. I don't look like this, I don't lust after fictional elves and I sure as hell don't mess around with swords and arrows in the hope that I'm holding it the right way round._

_I'm going to die out here._

She examined herself quietly, turning to get the full on effect- _despite the pink hair, I look quite good. Hell, if all else fails, I can model medieval clothing for a living. _Having pointblank refused to wear a dress or robes of anykind, her elven maid had helped her into men's attire- which Rai had frowned at, but reluctantly done. She was not strong enough to wear armour of any kind, especially as she was going to have to carry her weapons and pack, so she was in civilian kit. She wore a black tunic bordered in scarlet and gold, which was oddly light and was made of something closely resembling silk, but not at all shiny, that fell to just above her knees and split down the middle from the waist, to allow her legs movement. It had a high neckline that protected her throat, and the sleeves came to just above her elbows, loose and fluttery in the light breeze. Dark, wine coloured wrap around trousers bound her legs loosely, still allowing her liberty of movement, and black, calf-high boots covered her feet. A dark, hooded cloak, midnight blue in colour, was fastened about her neck by the familiar leaf brooch of the elven kin. It didn't billow, it didn't sweep dramatically- but it was dry and thick, and would keep the cold off. There. Totally harmless.

She looked a little less harmless with her new long sword, which she had named Karma after much thought and many ironic comments, strapped to the heavy leather belt Gimli had given her for her birthday. The throwing dagger from Aragorn went besides it, next to the pouch from Pippin and Merry had given her, which contained her mascara, a single acorn from Elrond and a pair of earrings, for unknown reasons, and the blade from the Lego Man went into the side of her boot. The brace of wrist knives was about her wrist, obviously, in easy access, and, unsure what to do with the bridle, she'd shoved it into her pack in the hopes it would come in useful in the future. Elladan's bow and a quiver of black fletched arrows were strapped across her back, over the pack, and Caisha discovered, to her endless delight, she could easily tug the bow free and strike some heroic poses in a matter of seconds- much like James Bond... If James Bond had been born in Middle Earth.

She eyed her room with a small sigh- over the past weeks, she'd become rather attached to it. Once you got past the fact Elves had no respect for privacy and barrelled in oblivious to what she was doing, it was rather cosy. Sure, the wind let the cold in at night, the sheets were too thin and she frequently knocked her head and stubbed her toe on the wardrobe, but... it had a homely feel. She walked around it for the last time, double-checking she'd not left anything behind -the fine silver cloak and the robes from Arwen were packed up neatly in the backpack- before sighing softly, touching her fingers to the small amethyst necklace that was laid over her tunic collar. _Elrohir... Was there ever a man-elf-person as confusing as him? _She tore her mind quickly away from the handsome trouble maker; the kiss of the previous night was still a painful memory, and she was partially relieved she wouldn't see him again after today. _Then I can focus on getting home, not moping around after him._

Twenty-fifth of Foreyule, 1418... That was the day, this day, the day of their departure. She remembered someone saying it last night... In her world, that was december. Christmas Day. How was it possible that four months had passed at home when only four weeks had passed here? Was time going to be like that? What if she were away for a year, and got home, and roughly four and a half years had passed? She'd get home, and they'd think she was dead, or run away... _What will Ma and Da think? And little Ra will be just gone eighteen... We'll only be a few months apart! I'll have only aged a year, in this world. Ryan and Coal will be nearly twelve, and Karmella will be sixteen- two years younger than me. What about Ren? Will she even remember me? She'll be nine, by the time I get back..._

Choking back tears of homesickness as she adjusted her pack and stared out the window at the rising dust, she barely noticed Rai leave the room, or the new figure standing in the doorway. _Everyone had hangovers this morning... An amusing party, if a little tame for my tastes... _She spotted Legolas and Gimli striding through the courtyard, bickering about something, dressed in travelling attire and eager to be off. They were headed for the meeting yard, where Caisha had been bowled over by the two riders, and she sighed softly, _This is it, then. Time to go._

She turned around, starting for the doorway and too busy strapping her sheild securely to her arm to notice the grey-eyed elf watching her silently, until she walked into him. Strong arms caught her before she could fall, and refused to let her go even after she'd regained her footing. Concern was written in every line of the handsome face, and the full mouth she was so used to seeing smile was set in a worried frown.

"Elrohir..." she breathed in bewilderment, unable to use her nickname for him when he looked so concerned. She had half a mind to pull away from his tight grip, but couldn't quite bring herself to do it, "What are you doing here?" she managed, feeling her shield wedged painfully into her side and shifted slightly.

"Caisha... About last night... I'm sorry." He wouldn't meet her eyes- a small spark of anger flared inside her heart.

"Sorry that it happened? Forget about it." she pulled herself free roughly, smoothing her creases from her clothes where he'd grabbed her.

"Not that it happened." Gentle arms encircled her again, clasping her upper arms softly and pulling her towards him. Hell, who was she to deny him that? "Sorry that I stopped."

"Why did you?" It had hurt, him apologising and walking away... It left her feeling confused, and we all know by now Caisha doesn't like to be confused. It makes her cranky.

"Because I'm an idiot." he murmered gently, his face so close she could feel the breath lick across her features, warm and fresh, inticing. "Something my brother said came to mind... I had to think... And then I realised you really were going to leave, and I couldn't stop you going, and I knew that if I let you walk away without setting it right, I'd have regretted it for the rest of my life- and we live a long, long time."

"So how do you plan to set it right?" she struggled out, refusing to let herself melt, like she so wanted to do.

"Like this." he smirked, and closed the gap between their mouths. Unlike last night, which had been drunken and slightly clumsy, this kiss was precise and tender, melding their lips together until Caisha lost track of which pair were hers. It didn't stay gentle and sweet for long, though- it gave way to passion, which hardened and deepened the pressure of the kiss, until Caisha felt herself being pressed up against the wall, her pack and weapons digging into her body but honestly not caring right now. Elrohir's hands traced a slow, taunting pattern from her arms to her shoulders, then down her sides until they rested on her waist, gripping her as though she might run off or vanish any moment.

She had no idea how long they stayed like that, bodies pressed together and lips intertwined, her fingers buried in his short hair, his pressing ever against her waist, but it was a tactful cough that brought them back to earth. They leapt apart, guiltily, and Caisha noted Elrohir looked dishevelled, dark-eyed and flushed- she most likely looked the same. She glanced at their intruder, and smiled weakly as she caught sight of the entire Fellowship staring at them with wide eyes- it had been Aragorn who'd coughed. He, as elected leader of the group, was pushed forwards reluctantly, cringing under Caisha's murderous gaze,

"Caisha... We... Uh... That is, I, we... Weneedtogo." he blurted out, wishing himself anywhere but there- give him ringwraiths and wild chases in the forest anyday, as opposed to this malevolent teenager.

"What? Now? Right, okay. Give me a moment- I'll be there soon." Needing no other excuse, the Fellowship fled, Gandalf the most relaxed of them, swinging his staff and whistling idly, smirking knowingly to Caisha as he strolled past. She glared after him, then turned back to Elrohir, who smiled weakly.

"Im off, then." She stammered out, feeling slightly embarassed they'd been caught in the middle of their heated exchange- Elrohir looked in a similar abashed mood.

"I know... I've said my goodbye-" a weak smile, "-and I've got just one favour to ask."

"What is it?"

"Don't die."

"I'll try not to."

"If you do, I'll kill you."

------

That had been two weeks ago- they'd been on the road for a long while, and it was killing her. Her backpack, considering its lightness, had been burdened onto Bill, giving her more liberty than the rest of them, but she fared worse than the others, despite this. They were hardened warriors -and hobbits- and were used to long walks in the country, considering there was no other realistic mode of transport except horses. Caisha had been softened by a life of easy going, of late night parties, alcohol and drugs, sex and TV, junkfood, chocolate and sweets. She was no accustomed to these long walks, especially under the chilly grey sky, blowing cold across them from the Misty Mountains to the East. They travelled chiefly by night, to avoid detection, and slept as best they could throughout the day, but when they stopped each dawn for a rest, she felt like she'd been run over by a steam roller and then used to slap Michael Jackson to death.

She had blisters on her feet, though her boots were surprisingly comfy, and her calf muscles ached constantly. She threw up at least twice a day, without fail, though the others said nothing about it as she relentlessly kept up with their marching pace. Aragorn was leading them through the Bruinen and the Mountains, which meant it wasn't even gentle going- steep inclines had to be scaled, rough terrain covered, rocks slid into shoes and tore open her hands when she fell. All in all, she was not doing well- quite often, Boromir and the hobbits would walk besides her, comforting and encouraging her, though she often did not have breath with which to reply. Gandalf occasionally touched her on the shoulder, or the arm, and she felt a thrill of energy jolt through her, just enough for her to cover the last few miles until the dawn rest, but most of the time they left her be, seeing her determination to be as good as them.

Even the Lego-Man, who'd doubted her abilities, could not fault her self-discipline as she matched the Fellowship pace for pace, and even spoke to her with a slight warmth in his voice when they'd stopped for the day. _All it took for him to be friendly was me half-killing myself on a trek. Gee... if only I'd known that earlier. _Aragorn showed her how to hide traces of her presence when they broke camp or she threw up, and Boromir continued to help her study her weapons skill- she was getting better at archery. At least she hit the target every time these days- but she barely had the strength to lift her sword, and had to resort to using her daggers at most points. Despite her initial weakness, though, she was hardening to this new life- muscles were slowly toning in places she didn't even know she had, and she found that it didn't require as much effort to stay with the Fellowship on some days. The sun, which still made a watery show through the dank clouds, even if it was feeble and cold, was tanning her skin with a colour people back at home spent thousands trying to achieve, when all they really needed to do was get off their arses and work for a long while under the sky.

They reached Hollin, where Elves dwelt in ancient times, at the end of the second week. Warm winds from the south met them and brought clear sky and sunlight, driving away the cold grey clouds under which they had labored for the entire fortnight since their departure from Rivendell. They again rested during the day and marched during the night to discourage observation by servants of either Isengard or Mordor, though Caisha found her eyes quickly adjusting to the shadows and the darkness around them, until she could distinguish between rocks and people -several painful experiences had occured in which she'd tried to climb over Merry, Gimli and Sam-. Quite often she walked with Bill, relieving Sam of the task and spoke to the horse like it was an old friend- the only thing here that she remotely recognised as a part of her past life.

It took them an extra day to move through the land of Hollin, where stood the Elven-city of Eregion through almost a thousand years of the Second Age — now so long ago that Legolas detected Elven-sympathy only in the worked stones strewn among the grass and holly-trees. Caisha watched his exploration of the ancient home curiously, noting him pick up on things she hadn't even realised were there- gradually, slowly, Caisha was learning. Changing. Even so, quite often her mind flashed back home. Two weeks... two months, back home. It would be February- her fathers birthday. Not for the first time, she wondered what they were doing, if they missed her- and, even more frequently, she thought of Elrohir, of their goodbye, and why the fact she'd never see him again filled her with a leaden, melancholy feeling, like someone had shot her in the chest.

And there was the Order of the Sue- they worried Caisha, with their unholy fascination for pink and their worship of all things made of lace, and ever since the Attack on the Plains, which she'd taken to calling it, she'd been even more wary of them coming to seek retribution.

_They'd been walking across the great wide plains of Hollin, having just reached that border of the land, in surprisingly good moods being as they were ahead of their predicted arrival here. Frodo and Sam had been talking in hushed voices, with Merry and Pippin chasing each other across the rocky turf. Gandalf was striding ahead with Aragorn and Legolas, and Gimli walked silently just behind, muttering to himself. Caisha was at the back, as usual, lagging behind slightly considering a stone had slipped into her boot during the course of the day, and was making it painful to walk._

_Unable to carry on until she'd got rid of the blasted thing, she'd tugged off her boot and upended it, watching the tiny rock drop amongst its brethren, who clammered and skittered at its arrival, then began to ask it what life was like amongst the scary Toe-People. Maybe that was why she hadn't heard the growl behind her, the savage snarl and the crunch of rock under paw- realistically, it was just because Caisha wasn't paying attention._

_Something had leapt at her from behind, slamming her into the ground and pinning her there. She could feel small lines of saliva drool across her back, and hot breath fanned across her neck. Sharp claws dug into her clothes as she struggled to right herself. Managing at least to get her dagger out of her belt, she'd twisted her arm around painfully and jabbed randomly behind her- a sharp yelp and an immediate lightness on her spine meant she'd struck home, and scrambled to her feet, spinning to face her attacker._

_It had been a giant wolf, pure black in colour and at least three foot from the floor to it's shoulder. Cruel eyes of bulbous yellow watched her movements as she scrambled backwards, drawing her sword clumsily at the same time. Shouts behind her signalled the attention of her fellows, who'd noticed her attacker- and maybe thats what did it. The knowledge that all eyes were trained on her filled her with a strange, zealous rage. How _dare _this thing attack her. How dare it! It might look threatening, with those amazingly sharp teeth and rippling muscles under the ebon coat, but she would show it a thing or two._

_As it leapt at her again, she had felt the weariness drain away as adrenaline coursed through her body. Spinning sideways, sword poised and balanced with a strength borne of terror, she turned to face the wolf again, which was shaking its head in an extremely familiar manner. The eyes remained fixed on hers, and the growl rose even louder before it dived forwards, slashing at her arm before leaping away again, ears flattened and the skin between its nose and brow wrinkled in folds, the lips peeled back and the growl reverberating the throat, which quivered... And yet somewhere insides of her, any fear or panic she had was being surpressed, and all she could feel was an incredible rage. This... this... _thing _was trying to kill her, for no apparent reason whatsoever!_

_"IT'S TRYIN' TO EAT MEH!"_

_Blood dripping from the gap in her arm, though she'd barely noticed, she'd swung Karma around in a wide arc, as though to sweep the wolfs legs out from under it, then quickly changed and sliced upwards. As the canine leapt away from the undercut, it was caught by the slice and yelped as its chest was torn through with a thin line. Eyes smouldering, Caisha had advanced, and, such was the nature of the day, the wolf had backed up, right before it leapt again, aiming for her revealled throat. She quickly dodged away and turned her sword so that it caught the wolf right through the chest as it leapt- there was a sickening crunch, and her sword tip had pierced right through the creature and come out the other side._

_She withdrew her sword as the creature rolled about in agonised death throes, and quickly slit its throat, as a mercy stroke. Hurridely cleaning her sword on the grass, feeling a triumphant urge to be sick, if that made sense, she glanced up to see her fellows staring at her in bewilderment. Aragorn and Gandalf looked the least surprised, but Legolas looked like she'd called him ugly and Gimli was reeling in surprise. Frodo didn't care, because he was too interested in moaning about the ring, and Sam was petting Bill, who'd panicked upon seeing the wolf, and looking at her in surprise. Merry and Pippin stood with mouths opening and closing like little gold fish... _Aww... Goldfish Twins. How cute.

_Turning back to her kill, she was about to say something, no doubt a heroic and momentus thing, when she watched the thing change before her very eyes -but not before a smug looking flea hopped off the body and darted away-... The claws retreated into paws, which were forming perfect, slender hands, and the tail was shrinking into nothing. The fearsome head was molding into the beautious features of a blonde haired, blue-eyed Leader of the Sue, who was still gasping her last, despite her throat being cut. In total shock, Caisha had just blinked as Britney eyed her hatefully, and whispered,_

_"You stole Mr Snuffles... bitch." _

_Then she'd died, and Caisha felt like she wanted to be sick even more, knowing she'd killed a person, not just an attacking creature. Gimli had walked up besides her and eyed the Sue warily, as though it might leap from the dead- this is a Mary Sue we're talking about -and glanced at Caisha,_

_"What was she? Werewolf?"_

_Caisha inspected the body and shook her head with a disgusted sneer, "No."_

_"What was she then?"_

_"Animagus."_

After that, the attitude in the group had changed. She was no longer the feckless idiot who'd been thrust upon them- though Legolas probably still thought she was-. They'd seen her kill with a precision they didn't know she possessed, and, whilst Caisha felt all warm and fuzzy inside now they'd accepted her at last, she couldn't help but shake off the feeling that her sudden swore skill was very, very... Marysueish...

In the clear air they descried the Mountains of Moria, three jagged peaks that lay above Khazad-dûm, the most ancient delvings of the dwarves. Gimli nearly wet himself with excitement when Gandalf announced that the Company was to cross the mountains and descend the Dimrill stair, passing the sacred Mirrormere.- Aragorn just looked slightly put out that someone other than him had taken control of the group. They stopped for a rest near some ancient ruins in Hollin, when the sun was just making a show behind the Mountains in the distance. The day was clear and warm, with only sparse clouds shadowing the good mood of the Fellowship as they relaxed amongst the stones. Caisha perched herself on one of the jagged boulders, reclining on the warm rockface and half closing her eyes, listening to the crackle of the Hobbit's cooking fire, and the ring of sword on sword as Boromir helped them train...

She listened vaguely to drifts of conversation that passed through the Fellowship like laxatives through a constipated person, but she'd heard it all before...

"For the Shire!" She chuckled softly as the hobbits ganged up on Boromir, flooring him, though the laughter died on her lips when Boromir looked up at her strangely... His look made her uncomfortable, like he was scrutinising her, and she turned away to listen to others.

"...which I note they're not... I'd say we were taking the long way round... cousin Balin..."

"No Gimli, I would not take the road through Moria..." Blah blah blah... They were going to end up going through the mines- big deal. She knew what happened, that Gandalf didn't die and they all got out alive.

_Except me... _The realisation suddenly struck her. _Im not in the book, Im not in the film... Will I survive? Against those orcs, and that balrog thing? _I really want that as a pet, come to think of it... _Oh Gods, I better had do. I'm too young and pink to die young._

"...is that?"

"...wisp of cloud..."

It was Legolas who snapped her out of her thoughts, "Crebain! From Dunland!"

"Hide!" Someone grabbed her roughly and she was half-dragged, half-pulled under an overhang by unseen hands, which wrapped about her and prevented her from instinctively fighting back. She was pressed up against an unknown body, bewildered and appaled by this manhandling, but stopped struggling as soon as she saw the crowd of crows, spies of Saruman, caw by overhead, circling the ruins and hunting for them. Never before had she experienced such.. terror. It leaked out of the party like blood from a wound -her own of which was bandaged up after the Attack on the Plains, by the by- and infected her, until she felt herself panic... But still the arms were pinning her, and did not release her until Gandalf broke out from under his cover. Rolling free, she glanced across to where Aragorn had been holding her- he just smiled apologetically and turned to help Frodo out... She shook her head and turned in time to hear Gandalf,

"Spies of Saruman! The passage south is being watched. We must take the Pass of Caradhras!"

She groaned softly- a nice, soft mountain covered in snow to climb up, only to be stopped near the top and sent into the Mines. Wasn't this going to be fun?

She ignored the questioning glances sent her way after she groaned, instead retrieving her sword and dagger from the boulder and looking expectantly at the wizard.

"We should just go for the Mines of Moria, y'know." A voice send, and Caisha was bewildered to find it was her own- everyone turned to look at her in equal surprise. "It'll save us a lot of time."

Gandalf frowned at her, toying with his beard, "What are you saying, Caisha?"

"Just that with a mountain to climb and a lot of snow to cover and the fact we're all going to end up buried under an avalanche because Saruman doesn't like you, Gandalf, and you can't counter his spells, means its just going to be a waste of time, and I'm very prone to pneumonia. True, we'll end up fleeing orcs and goblins in the Mines, but at least we won't be cold, especially with the---" She paused, staring at their shocked faces, "What? Whats the matter? Was it something I said?"

**To be continued**

Well... It wasnt funny xD Ah well. Review, damn you! -bites your leg- I won't continue until I have 40 reviews. -nod-


End file.
